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Pawpet Show #194 - Christmas! - Dec 21st, 2003 - Timeline 1/2
compiled by (Blackfoot Ferret) [And his computer]

http://www.pawpet.org/funday/index.php?show
  ^-- to view last week's show, or live broadcast at 7PM-E each Sunday

HIGHLIGHTS FOR THE CHRISTMAS 2003 SHOW!
Devin's New Piercings                                         - 0:08
Many ways to utterly destroy 2003                             - 0:14
Interview with Sefina, who puppets Otter                      - 0:21
Video: Mutt's eye view of the world                           - 0:32
Things people want for Chrismas                               - 0:50
The Return of Greasespoto, the Mexican(?) Ferret              - 0:59
IronBadger calls in, has words with Grease                    - 1:12
Chanuka, Dredels and You                                      - 1:28
Punktiger callin in for Pawpet Match Game                     - 1:48
Interview with Punktiger. Stranger-than-furry-con Cons?       - 2:25
Moo mutates.. Pawpets get gifts from viewers                  - 2:44
White Elephant gift exchange (or how to get rid of stuff)     - 3:02
ART JAM: Pawpets and the Holidays                             - 3:23
PICTURE CAPTIONS: Guy punches out Santa Claus                 - 3:27
3Videos: Mutt's revenge against annoying DWorld photographers - 3:32
12 Pains of Christmas                                         - 3:42
Here comes Santa Claus!                                       - 3:51

************ START! *************
0:01 - "30 seconds ago in a living room far, far away...."
      <JingleBells!.mp3> Pawpet Intro
      Poink's a ballerina today? Dancing about in jail..
0:03 - Santa Mutt and a whole BUNCh of tinsel and ornaments..
      SantaNerd! Hat fits tight like Kenny. "My face hurwts!"
0:04 - Camera goes down to spy on pawpetters. Poink has a hand up..
      Tod is a reindeer! "I have a red nose, I have antlers.."
        Poink "I have a hat scotch-taped to my head. <glum>"
0:06 - Sefina visits! Last Sunday in Orlando :/
      JavaChickn (Poink: "No relation to JavaFrog..") visits.
        Rasvar's getting food while heading back from a game.
0:07 - Christmas Pink Flamingo challenge coming up.
      Tod "I thought were going to Devine dress up.." Nerd "No,
        we're going to watch Devine eat..<Bandit strikes> OW!
        stupid Dog!"
      Tod laughs so hard he passes out! Poink "Funny you should
        say that.. :P"
      Bandit stepped on Devin's new piercing?
0:08 - Jedi-Devin is summoned forth, who on Realplayer looks
        just like the old Devin..
      Mutt wows! "Check that out, he's got two holes in his ears,
        and a hole in his lip.."
      Poink "Hold on" checks "He's still got a hole in his butt too"
      Devin strikes various poses. Tod "So now if we tell him to
        button his lip, he can really do it :)"
      Poink "What if you tell him to lip at his butt?"
        Devin looks at him? Poink "too early for the esotericals?"
[Esoteric: from Greek esoteros-'inner'. "Meant for or understood by
    only a chosen few."]
     (No freakin' kidding) Folks get ready for roll call.
0:09 - Piercings and those little silver cake-decorating balls.
      Mutt "Bet you didn't know that, they're really metal, not
        sugar." Poink "They taste like chocolate.."
      Nerd dons a Santa hat 5x bigger than him.
0:10 - Planning for White Elephant, and Xmas Name That Toon later.
      ART JAM! Tod wants Pawpets at Christmas!
      Poink "Draw me like I am at Christmas.. naked with
        Mistletoe hanging on my belt."
http://www.jmanx.com/files/wav/looneytunes/Evil%20Scientist-A%20wee%20bit%20small.wav
0:11 - Pawpet Xman Xmas cards.
      <HeavyMetalOhHolyNight.mp3> MiniRandy grooves!
      Rasvar shocks random people with audio feedback.
0:12 - Poink "There's actually a mod for a game called Jedi
        Academy, which you get to go around fighting with light
        sabers and stuff, where, you can make the Stormtroopers
        all Santa Claus! And I'm just lobbin' off Santa's head
        left and right! ^_^"
http://www.gamespot.com/pc/action/jediacademy/index.html
http://www.stupidvideos.com/?VideoID=633
      Nerd is encased in the Santa hat. Lost his eyes? "I look
        like a monkey o_O"
      Tod "You look like a Who! ^_^" "I look like a -who-?"
        Nerd tells people to Grinch him. Poink "Actually, he looks
        like Martha Stewart.."
0:13 - Poink asks Mutt what he wants for Xmas? "A secretary!" Looks
        a plus.
      Tod wants World Peace. Poink "Where would you KEEP it?"
0:14 - Tod goes gaga for Crossfire, car with big back end?
        Poink wants Evan. "The Model?" Nerd rolls on the floor.
      Mutt reads wish list from channel. "Wolfie and I agree, we
        want 2003 to END" does 2-class rant.
0:15 - Mutt "Barbecue it, pee on it.." Tod "With a flamethrower!"
      Proposed sound effects for killing things people hate about
        2003. Next show?
0:16 - Tod proposes people sending audio clips of what they hate
        in, and chaining it together in one blast.
http://www.tk421.net/gallery/sounds/32dohs.wav
0:17 - Mutt "Anyway.. Happy Christmas Time! We will Hate next week"
      Poink "Hey, cueballs in the house!" Tod "Hi Mach!"
      Channel yays for Mach! Poink thinks of a giant thumb?
0:18 - Black screen. No sound of things breaking.
      Still a black screen. People start calling for Jess.
        Mutt "Quick! Flash the camera!"
      Black screen. "That's awesome! You're not even wearing a
        bra tonight!" Tod "Do it one more time Jess?"
      Black screen. "YAYYY!!!" Poink "One's silver dollar sized!"
0:19 - Black screen. Mutt "You don't have to take your pants down
        too.." Poink wows "Shaved into a heart!"
      Black screen. Jess decides not to hurt anyone. "You know
        you've always wanted to see that.."
      Black screen "I made sure to wear my Santa's Little Helper
        outfit, just for you guys :)"
http://www.tk421.net/gallery/sounds/allmms.wav
      Black screen. Mutt "Cool, thanks for flashing the camera :)
        Oh wait, is the camera on yet?.. oh yall missed it!"
http://www.tk421.net/gallery/sounds/32dohs.wav (DOH!)
      <HappyRainbowScreen.fx> Poink "Nobody can tell if we're
        naked!"
0:20 - Camera is back on. People jump.
      In the background, Mach "..oh my GOD!.." Jess "It's a
        picture of when him, and me and Simba and FlyingFox went
        to Pleasure Island." (o_O)
      Jess holds up the picture, but of course, it doesn't show
        on Realplayer -_-
0:21 - No eggnog? Tod brought butterscotch?
      SEFINA on stage! Yay!
      Poink asks "Kiss my tongue!" and she does O_O
http://www.tk421.net/gallery/sounds/boogie.wav
      Sefina's in Orlando for 13 more days. Mutt "And where do you
        move back to?" "Ohio :P"
http://ppnc.pawpet.org/videos/Ohio.rm
      Poink "I'm sorry.." Tod ohs "Yatta Ohio!"
http://www.verylowsodium.com/fanimutation/exuberance.php
   (He did Ohio? o_O)
0:22 - Sefina went for an internship, with her major Interactive
        Multimedia. "Web design, CD development, graphics design..
        Poink "DVD porn." Sefina nods "Fine art.."
      Popups. Sefina assures folks she doesn't create spam :P
---------
      RANDOM CHRISTMAS VIDEO! Santa wavers! "5..4..3...2....."
      Santa "OoohHoHo! Merry Christmas from the North Pole!"
      <MallKidsInBackground> Santa "Enjoy the..." blinks o_o -_o
        "Pawpet... Puppet show..?" Herbie dohs "Funday Pawpet
        Show :P" takes camera shot of Santa's gut, then Take 2.
0:23 - TAKE 2: "OoooHoHoHoHOOO! Greetings from the North Pole!"
      <MallKids> <TrainWhistle> "Enjoy the Fun-Day-Paw-Pet-Show--"
      Santa hmms, then holds up a hand. Go with it. Fadeout.
----------
0:23 - Back to normal. Mutt "Thank you very much.. Santa!"
      Mutt notes they make his job easier by always being naughty
        for Christmas.
0:24 - <HeavyMetalNutcracker.mp3> Tod grooves
      Poink hmms "A heavy metal nutcracker.."
      Tod is suffering from Double-L syndrome? "My roommate can't
        pronounce LL, like W.." Poink looks at you "He got an STD
        from the ballet? o_O"
      Tod opens his mouth to refute, but then gets attacked by
        Bandit. "OW!"
0:25 - Quiet Otter visits, sounds like Sefina. Upstage JarJars
        do dueling metal banjos.
      Otter "Well, that's JarJar after all the criticism he's gotten
        in all the movies.." <JammingJarJars>
      Black screen.                             Oh wait!
---------
0:26 - FLUFF AND SUCH: "I FARTED ON SANTA'S LAP"
http://www.fluffandsuch.com/what.asp
      Cutest puppy in the world ate too many cookies..
<Piano> "Waiting there for Santa, I thought that I'd Explode!
        Gas bubble gets bigger, with ever HoHoHo.."
<Piano> Tried my best to hide it.. thought I was doing swell..
       But when I sat down on Santa's lap he hollered 'What's that
         SMELL?' <Piano>
       <TheIFartedOnSanta'sLapChildrensChorus.mp3>
0:28 - Puppies finish chorus. One farts. Lingering greenness O_O
      CREDITS (Scrolling!) "I Farted On Santa's Lap" by The
       Little Stinkers  on  Sleighed - The Other Side Of Christmas
       Performed by Mesmo The Magnificent and The Litter Trio
         - Nonsanity_Cat
------------
      <XmasBarkingDogs.mp3> Poink "You know, I'd probably make a
        lousy Santa? DAMMIT YAPPY!!"
Take 2. "If a Kid farted on my lap.. I'd punt him across the Mall!"
http://www.stupidvideos.com/?VideoID=584
      Mutt "Yeah, that'd make a lousy Santa." "Kick the ba-by!"
http://www.stupidvideos.com/?VideoID=292 (Don't kick the baby..)
0:29 - Yeahs for Nonsanity. Kid coming soon? Marchish.
      Poink "You know, that's a better idea. If a kid farted on my
        lap I'd just sit on his head and fart." grins "What do you
        want for CHRISTMAS son??"
http://www.stupidvideos.com/?VideoID=671 (Toyz!)
      Simba! Nerd "Simbasimbasmibasimba!" erfs at hat fluff "I'm
        eating my thing.."
      Nerd thinks he looks like the Trash Lady from Labyrinth?
        "OH!thisisuwierksjogyesyes.."
0:30 - Mutt "Audience, what is one of your Favorite holiday
        specials?"
http://www.murphybrothers.org/video/rudolph.html
      A Christmas Carol, several versions. Tod "It's a wonderful
        life!" Poink wears out his copy of Santa's Bad Little
        Helper.
0:31 - Mutt "RANDOM VIDEO! AHHH, CRAZY!!" Everyone hides
-----------------
      Video: Treelands on Poinks's head. Wait
-----------------
      Poink "OWW.." Poink "I'm used to abuse you bastards!!"
      Tod gingerly balances Xmas Forest over Poink's head again.
      Poink "You know, if a tree falls on a ferret, does it make
        a sound? HELL YEAH!"
http://www.tk421.net/gallery/sounds/woohoo.wav
      Forest says its karma "I'm gonna throuw my decerations at
        you awl knight.." Poink "I'm coming up there with a Bic
        lighter." "Brrring it on pal!"
http://www.tk421.net/gallery/sounds/screwy.wav
------------
0:32 - RANDOM VIDEO! Mutt (about 1' tall?) takes a camera around
        and looks up at people. Attacks legs!
        "Legs, feet, feet, K.. lots of shoes here.."
0:33 - Baby stroller. posts. Shoes, feet.
      Giant Starfish Trees? o_O
      Mutt "I've gotta go to the bathroom, be right back."
      Tree. Camera tilt. "Shake, Shake.."
      Back from Seaworld trip.
--------------
      Mutt got camera for birthday, he and Scott were testing it
        out. Tod "And you know you're supposed to put it on Pause
        when you go to the bathroom?
0:34 - Mutt did use his paws. "Paws.. get it? Get it??"
      Learning how to use a Macintosh.
0:35 - JR farts. Nerd closes his hat even more, Mutt chews on a
        ribbon.
      Mutt oks! "Do we have any more random videos?" Yappy "We've
        got tons."
http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view.php?id=125029
0:36 - Planning events later.
0:37 - Hellos to Raini. Match game. No Pink Flamingos?
      Tech troubles. Fixing monitors by pounding them.
0:38 - Tree falls on Poink AGAIN! Poink "That was in the eye folks"
      Forest talks trash "Youw listin to mee! Yow're going down
        boy! I attakh when thew're not expectun it!"
      Tod looks up, dressed like Rudolph. Looks down "Are you ok
        Poink?" Poink "I'll tell you inna minute..
      Mortal Arboreal combat.
0:39 - Forest "OWW OWW OWW! Youu cannot hurt me, I am a tree, I
        have no feelings, no pain receptacles..
      Bandit, the only one who can destroy Forest, takes him out
        in the backyard, protesting. Mutt thinks he's getting some
0:40 - Arthur! Yappy decides which video to use next.. Parade?
0:41 - Bits of silver Walmart balls and things from Forest are
        littered about the room. Tod "And also a silver angel..
        oh, the Angel is naughty o_O" Poink "It'll be covered by
        bread pudding by the end of the night! HOMEMADE."
0:42 - Arthur inna Santahat. "Who turned out de lights?"
      Rasvar is off getting Krystals hamburgers.. cast in tech
        chaos. And Mutt has to leave for the night :/ "Busy
        working all weekend long on a video I can't show you.."
      Poink won't let Mutt leave until he kisses him. Mutt
        declares himself a free agent!
0:43 - New Years Eve next week.. trashing The Evil 2003.
      Arthur watched 2002 New Years Show. Poink wonders how long
        they're been doing this? o_O
      Arthur "How long.. has this been goin' on..."
0:44 - Black screen. Arthur "Blackness.. Cigarette!"
----------
PAWPETS NORTH COAST! http://ppnc.pawpet.org/videos/
      Little Red Riding Fox? And Ozark! Frontier Christmas skit
0:45 - Kissing! Prolonged kissing.. mrrr "Carlo! You made my socks
        dry!"
      "Felis Navidad" Ozark "Felisnava what?"
      The Christmas Story.. about the wierd camel riders.
0:46 - Vixen hopes she's not too wasted for Church in the morning..
        Ozark WHATS?
0:47 - Visitor. Redfeather-Ferret arrives. "Felis Navidad!"
0:48 - Ozark asks Redfeather if he got something secret..
        Redfeather nods.. Vixen returns?
       Vixen stares, it's her music box! Ozark got it back! Even
         says "Felis Navidad" too..
0:49 - More kissing! "Merry Christmas"
      CREDITS: "A Frontier Christmas" Hudson & Landry
      Harlow - Stargazer       Wife - Treads Lightly
      RedFeather - Akeakami
-------------
      Back to studio. It's the Poink Show?
      Poink "Ah, screw me."
http://www.jmanx.com/files/wav/looneytunes/But%20boss,%20ow,%20ooh.wav
0:50 - Tod "I'm coming, I'm coming.." Poink "Don't do that, we
        don't have a mop." Tod sighs "Oh hush.." "What?"
      Ezra pops up, starts interviewing Poink.
      Poink's Christmas list: Nothing for other people, but got an
        inflatable doll, new porn, and a USB Vibrator for himself.
http://www.sharonausten.com.au/content/index.pl?u=main.pl%3Fid%3D3462%26page_id%3D17%26tid%3D3
0:51 - Ezra's trip to the Mall. Always one Trendy Kiosk..
      <ChariotsOfFire.mp3> Balloon frisbees?
0:52 - Goofy Trendy hot toys. What's the Cabbage Patch Doll of the
        year?
      Poink "Power Rangers? Transformers?.."
http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view.php?id=70865
0:53 - YugiYoh displaced Pokemon. Poink "Once it hits Cartoon
        Network, it's dead! BTW, I noticed the new Scooby Doo
        series is on the Cartoon Network :P" Ezra "OH, big
        surprise! Where ELSE are they gonna put it?"
http://www.foxnews.com/               Poink "Not on Primetime!"
      POINK'S MOVIE NEWS: DVD'S coming out.. Garfield. Ezra ews.
0:54 - Poink "You know what won't suck? Alien vs Predator"
      Poink "Coming out in April" Ezra "Why" "Because I demand it"
        "Why" "Because I like blood!" "Why" Poink o_O "Because
        it's nice and red and festive, just like the holidays?"
      Poink urges kids to go out and slit Santa's throat. Ezra ARGS!
http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view.php?id=141266
      Ezra "Sick!" Poink "Hay, it's the Christmas spirit!"
      Poink is still hounded by Xmas ornaments!
0:55 - RETURN OF THE KING! Two paws up.
http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view.php?id=53842
      Ezra notes people who read the book think the ending was too
        short, while people who just wanted the movie thought the
        ending was too long.
http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view.php?id=88286
      Ezra "And honestly, it's 3 1/2 hours long. They need to put
        an intermission in it like they used to with movies that
        were 3 1/2 hours long!"
      Poink "NO.. people need to get stronger bladders!"
      Lord of the Rings marathon coming up. Poink "I'm having a
        catheter installed ^_^" Ezra "EEEEWWW!"
http://public.planetmirror.com/pub/engrish/ttt_captions/00-20.htm
-----------
0:56 - AN EMERGENCY VIDEO FROM PAWPETS MONTEREY BAY
      <Poink: "Oh, Gee! Thanks for lets us know there!">
http://www.pawpet.org/funday/index.php?ppmb
      CREDITS: "The Christmas Waltz" Nancy Wilson
        Happy Holidays Vol 32        Gretta - Aatheus
0:57 - Gretta skunk sings a holiday hit.
      "It's that time of year.. when the world falls in love..
       every song you here.. seems to say.. Merry Christmas.."
-----------
0:58 - Ezra in Mutt's clothing? "Oh wow, hold on.." exchanges red
        hat for pink glasses.
      A Yappy-puppet is coming, but it isn't Rummage?
0:59 - Ezra "Oh who oh who could it be.. could it be Greasespoto?"
        Yappy "(quiet) No.." Ezra "You know, we had a thing on the
        FPS list, and Greasespoto was one of the Pawpets that
        people said they'd like to see resurrected.."
(Then he could fight that Chibi-Devil Yappy beheaded..)
      NotChevy "(mexicanish) i'm DriviNG mY Trusty ChevroLET!"
      Ezra "Greasespoto! I hear you!" NotChevy "No! Gonna go back
        south of the Border man! It's too cold up heare!"
      Florida has frozen over? Greasespoto pins for Tequila
      "The Kind with the Wiggly Worm baby!" Ezra "Topshelf?" "..No
        bottom of the packive baby! You know, the place where the
        dog pisses on it?"
      Ezra WOAHS! Grease "That makes for a set of GOOD Tequila!"
1:00 - Ezra nods esoterically "I'm very familiar with that spot"
      What to do with Cactuses. Ezra and Grease talk about pricks.
      Grease thinks of challenging Devin with a 1 for 1 tequila
        shot challenge, then retracts it quickly.
1:01 - Ezra counts down the 15 minutes until Rasvar returns.
      Grease belches "It's Pissmass time!" Poink "Did he just say
        it's Pissmass Time? o_O"
http://www.stupidvideos.com/?VideoID=560 (Yep)
     Ezra "No.."
1:02 - Grease belches chunks "It smells like, Tequila!" Ezra "No
        its does not... ramen noodles.. and curry? o_O"
      Poink "It smells like Teamsters"
http://www.stupidvideos.com/?VideoID=727 (Teamsters haul ass)
      Grease itemizes his Ramen additions " and I added.. Trendane
        told me to do this.. and.. and.. Ginge told me to add
        Tobasco.. and I added.. I forget.."
1:03 - Poink "I've mixed wierder stuff with ramen!"
http://www.80stees.com/products/Aqua_Teen_Hunger_Force_meatwad_t-shirt.asp
      Rasvar calls in in background
1:04 - <FelisNavidad.mp3> Greasespoto gets bicultural. Jams with
        biting-severed-Godzilla-head.
1:06 - Java tries to swallow a maraca whole, but it doesn't work.
1:07 - Error checking in the background. From the stage,
        Grease/Yappy tells them not to press the red button! It
        blew up?
1:08 - Eraserhead carrot cameos! Rasvar listens to the tech
        situation, then heads for Yappy's at Warp 9.
1:09 - Can Carrots be fermented?
      Grease o_O at carrot-booze "I prefer cactus booze, baby!"
http://www.stupidvideos.com/?VideoID=456
      What happens to beer..afterward? Carrot flees conversation.
      Grease has to wizz a lot. Nerd has it come out where? O_O
      Grease "When you drink tequila it comes out your BUTT?"
        NerdWho "Its that and Budwizer."
      Carrot wines. Grease "You're plumbings all screwed up dude!"
        Nerd "When you drink Budwiser you get Bud Mud."
      Ezra is toast. Poink "Would that be a mudslide? :)"
http://www.tk421.net/gallery/sounds/fascinat.wav
   Ezra "(below stage) What does this have to do with Christmas..?
1:10 - Carrot is traumatized. Grease and Poink exchange crude
        insults!
      Crappy! "Hi.." Ezra notes he's the only sane one on stage
        "I am?"
      <ChorusOfDeepVoicedPeopleOhmingChristmasCarols.mp3>
1:11 - CALLIN: Ironbadger. People try to figure out how the phone
        works.
      Iron wonders what album the random clips are from?
        Trans-Siberian Orchestra
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/stores/artist/glance/-/73448/ref=m_art_dp/002-8693852-1648034
      Grease "HANG UP!" Iron "Wait a minute, is that Greasespoto?"
        Ezra and Poink nod. Grease "HANG UP!" Iron "No!"
1:12 - Insult wars. Grease "I'm gonna come over and bit your
        *bingbings* off!"
http://www.tk421.net/gallery/sounds/coconuts.wav
      Iron does Grease doing him. Poink "You could barely fit
        your muzzle around one of my ringdings!" Grease "I've
        been practicing! I can do it!"
      Iron "Your sword is long, but you cannot fit!"
        Crappy "The Power Rangers are gonna kick your butt!"
http://www.tk421.net/gallery/sounds/soblack.wav
      Rasvar returns! Peace. Merry Christmas all around!
      <WierdMusic.mp3> Rasvar takes one look at the electronics
        are starts shouting.
1:13 - <BlackScreen> Grease tries to explain how he didn't break
         anything.
      <BlackScreen> "I blowed up 5 too, and 6!"
      <BlackScreen> Rasvar mildly freaks.
1:14 - Color! Ways to fix things. Soderizing?
      Grease "Come here Crappy, I need to Soderize you! ^_^"
        Crappy o_O "Ok.." Rasvar "All the inputs are working now"
1:15 - <BlackScreen> Rasvar "Oh, hang on, I hit the wrong button"
      Searching for Kitchen Cam.
     <Dark Screen> Dark Devin greets you with a bottle of 57sauce
1:16 - <LightScreen> Extreme closeup on JR eating donuts.
      Closeup on Krystals(tm) box. Crappy "eeeeeeeeWww!"
http://www.tk421.net/gallery/sounds/control.wav
      Grease does showtunes "Da LUVV BoAT! Doing the time with my
        cactus babe!"
      Krystals in the kitchen. Grease "I wanna Krystal!"
      Someone actually hands him one O_O
1:17 - KP "Poink was pointing out that he's already had a Krystal,
       so there's no reason Greasespoto shouldn't.. that's like
       arming both Iran AND Iraq O_O"
      Crappy "I don't understand political jokes O_o"
      Crappy talks about his Christmas. Working, no time for
        shopping?
      KP "Everyone in channel, send Crappy a present!" Crappy "No,
        No No!"
http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view.php?id=74577 (Merry Xmas :) )
1:18 - Crappy hosts the show "With my.. festive earrings!"
      Krystals break for the cast. KP invites the channel to all
        eat stuff too.
1:19 - White Elephant planning. Conspiracy to keep Poink from
        getting lube?
      Crappy with a bow! Poink "You look like the Mayor of Who-
        ville" "ah-OH Good! ^_^"
1:20 - JR/Poink has Happy Tree Friends as his cell phone ringer?
      <JRCellPhoneTone.mp3> Even Grease is disturbed!
1:21 - Grease "Oh boy! The Krystals have attacked!" People groan
      Grease "Crappy! I want to give you a big kiss!" Crappy "Nope"
        *35* Krystals in the house? o_o (Dilithium.gif)
1:22 - Mouse maintainence. Grease cleans his balls HOW?
      Rasvar "The mouse is fine, but this keyboard blows.."
1:23 - Optical mice are neutered? Crappy tries the little scream,
        but has a cold.
      Grease "I only do mouse balls, I don't do rat balls. Just to
        clarify?"
1:24 - Grease "Crappy?" "(wary) What?" "You want to go snort some
        soder fumes together?"
      Crappy turns all the way around to look at him "Doesn't that
        have lead in it?" "Yeah!"
1:25 - <Picture-..?>
      Poink actually asks Rasvar to start some Christmas music..
1:26 - Great Classical Christmas Songs as you've likely never heard
        them before.
1:27 - CAPTION PICTURE: GUY PUNCHES SANTA'S LIGHTS OUT. courtesy
        of Chillimouse.
      The South Park Dredle song, 5 variants.
1:28 - Grease "Who knows the full length of that song?" Jess, and
        MiniRandy..
      Chanukagh. Mini "Aw, whogivesacrapaboutthathalfassedholiday!
      MiniRandy doesn't like Haunuka, 9 days, but cheesier gifts.
      Jess notes she gets money :)
1:29 - Greaspoto ponders the weapon-qualities of dredels.
1:30 - New dredel each holiday? Poink "You get one sock one day,
        then the other sock another day.."
1:31 - Jess notes people collect them for every year, like ornaments
        "Baby's first Hanuka"
(I wish to take this time to apologize all the times I've misspelt
"Hanuka". According to the dictionary it's either that <- or
"Hanukkah". According to my fingers slipping on the keyboard each
and every time, its "hNuakaafGh". Gawd.)
      Poink "What is this about saving all your baby crap?"
      Bronzing Baby's First Diaper. Smithsonian Gone Wild.
1:32 - Grease "Can you bronze Baby's First Upchuck?" Java yAHS!
      Java is GROSSED OUT BY BABY DIAPERS! IT'S THE END OF AN ERA!
1:33 - Poink "I just got an image of Rasvar in a diaper" Java GAAHS!
http://www.stupidvideos.com/?VideoID=698
(Look, if I didn't do it, someone else would) [Congratulations,
Mr. Duncer]
      Java "I'm into that! ^_^" Happy again.
      Rasvar does -something- off camera that freaks Java again
        Grease "Rasvar's definitely an 'innie'"
1:34 - Measuring bellybotton lint?
      Jess snowotter returns, wearing Carrot?
      Grease "Every time Rasvar eats a watermelon, and swallows
        the seeds? His mommy told him he'd have watermelons
        growing in his stomach. So if he just bends over a little
        bit.. <makes seed-smacking sounds> out comes his watermelon
        from his belly button."
http://www.stupidvideos.com/?VideoID=683 ( <= GreaseSpoto's fate )
1:35 - One tap on the rump, and you've got lunch. Poink "Why do you
        want to spank Rasvar!?" Grease "..... .... I don't! But
        you do."
      Jess "Some of the things in channel are just WRONG o_O"
      Krystal's the gift the keeps on giving. Poink "You know
        Krystals are happen'n when the cheeks start flappin"
      All the people who ate onions that day. Java actually vomits
1:36 - Freezer-burned burgers. Poink "Freezer-burnt ice cream!"
1:37 - Raini does spam-burgers?
1:38 - Raini had project, explaining why Spam was used in Cold War
        bomb shelters, because of its long shelf life.
      Canned ham gourmet lesson.
1:39 - Grease "I wonders if you can freeze Tequila?" Ice Slices?
      Poink "Let's put the X back in Xmas!"
1:40 - Ban on lighting flames on Hanuka? Grease wonders how people
        light the candles.
1:41 - Strange things Santa has done. o_O
----------------
1:43 - VIDEO: CENTRAL OHIO PAWPET AUTHORITY - COPA "OZARK'S OPINION"
(Can't find COPA homepage..?)
      Hayseeed "The following is the opinion of a dawg with a
        big hat!"
      Ozark, He Who Sees With Hat Over Eyes. "Greetings, I'm Ozark"
      Some Christmas Carols don't make sense?
      Little Drummer Boy "What mother in thair right mind would
        allow some kid to go bangin' on a drum, while they got a
        baby around?"
1:44 - My Favorite Things "It comes from a musical about a singing
        family, in Australia"
      (?) "Now, does the musical -talk- about Christmas? Nooooo.."
      "Does it ever happen in the winter? Noooooooo.."
      "Do Raindrops on Roses, and Whiskers on Kittens, have
        ANYTHING to do with Christmas? NO!"
      "THEN.. there's a song about Rudolph..."
      Most famous reindeer of all "Well, if he's so FAMOUS, why
        WOULDN'T I recall him!??"
1:45 - Worst of all: JIngle Bells, Winter Wonderland, Let It Snow
        "These songs that don't mention a WORD about Christmas,
         get sucked up into the Holiday"
      "Then, when it's Cold and Blustery at the end of January, and
        you start singing one of these winter songs to lighten the
        mood, someone says 'Yo! Ain't it a little late for
        Christmas?' Well, maybe we should just move Christmas to
        the middle of winter!" Fed 2nd.
      Ozark "I'm Ozark, that's  how I see it, that's how I
        believe it, and that settles it"
      CREDITS: "Ozark's Opinion #4" Christmas Carols
         Ozark - Stargazer      Announcer - Cirrus Kitfox
      Announcer Disclaimer: "The views on this program are coming
        from a mangy dog, and have nothing to do whatsoever with
        this station."
      Ozark "And exactly what did you mean by THAT?"
--------------
1:46 - And now, back to the show.
      Poink's Christmas Hits "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer, had
        some very big do-das.." Ezra "WHAT?" ".. and if you ever
        saw them, you would think they're lawn-and-leaf bags!"
      Ezra "Ok.. we're gonna do Match Game.."
1:47 - CALL-IN PUNKTIGER! Tiger tries to get through the anti-spam
        defense system on the telephone.
      Ezra "For those of you have haven't seen the show before..
        I'm sorry!"
1:48 - PAWPET MATCH GAME! Rasvar hosts!
      Ezra "He has the world's worst collection of neckties."
        Tuxedo Ras "I have a special one tonight!"
      Extreme Closeup: The Jaguar Tie. "In honor of the fact they
        actually won tonight ^_^"
      Punktiger "We of course, they're not as good as the Patriots,
        but <coughs>"
1:49 - People touching lots of buttons and things..
1:50 - Ezra and Cow man the stage. Ezra "How are you doing Cow?"
        Cow "..Moo!" Punktiger can guess the first clue already.
1:51 - Punk and Ezra discuss Xmas plans.
1:52 - Crappy talks about his pot roast. Poink "Yeay, Pot!"
        Punk "Pass the potroast on the left hand side!"
      THE MISSION: PUNKTIGER MUST GUESS WHAT ANSWERS EZRA, CRAPPY,
        POINK, DEVIN, ALISON AND SEFINA WILL GIVE TO THE QUESTIONS.
      Punk "I'll try to match Rasvar's tie.."
1:53 - Punk and Nerd exchange greets. Punk "I love you Nerd, even
        when your eyes fly off!" Nerd "Aw ^_^ AUGH! O_O"
1:54 - Rasvar sportscasts. TV folks act like someone shot their dog?
      Rasvar "Enough about sports, because only 3 people in channel
        who care about sports :P"
(I like Unreal Tournament..) "Lets go on to our first question!"
1:55 - Ras "Cirris is in a really festive mood this season.."
      Punk "How festive is he?"
      Ras hmms "At the holiday party, he was wearing a <BLANK> on
        his lapel."
(Lapel: "The front part of a coat folded back and forming a
continuation of the collar") [I think you're the only one who
doesn't know that]
      Ras gestures with his notebook. <WonkyMatchGameMusic.mp3>
        Ras looks pleased ^_^
      People ready answers. Devin is sniffing the marker?
1:56 - Punktiger's answer: "A fruitcake!" Crappy "That's a good
        answer!"
      Sefina - Rose  Alison - Trash bag   Devin - Hooker (o_O)
      Crappy - Christmas Bell! "Awwwww!"
      Poink - "I of course had the popular USB vibrator! That's a
        stocking stuffer! ^_^"
1:57 - Rasvar sends Sefina to stuff a Krystal's in Poink's face
      Ezra "A poinsettia"
1:58 - Next Question. Ras "Hopefully, our panel will do a little
        bit better.."
      Ras "JBadger went overboard buying gifts this year, he
        bought out every <BLANK> at the department store.. for
        stocking stuffers."
      <GoofyMatchGameMusic.mp3>
1:59 - People writing. Poink "Awwlgmmofst dooune.."
      Punktiger "Tickle Me Elmos" Crappy "Can you get one of those
        in a stocking?" "If you cram it really hard!" "Did you
        just call me Cramming? o_O"
2:00 - Crappy is voted first "I said peppermint sticks!"
      Ezra "I was a little off the wall, I said.. TICKLE ME ELMO!"
      Poink "I went with the typical Normal-Rockwell Christmas item,
http://www.80stees.com/products/Threes_Company_Menage_t-shirt.asp
        ".. a cherry-flavored condom"
      Alison "Nose plug?" People nod at the wisdom.
2:01 - Devin "Employee?" Ezra "Only at Disney, they're the only
        place where employees are for sale :P" Sefina Heys!
      Sefina "Action figure!"
      People celebrate an actual match! Punktiger is modest "It
        really isn't that difficult once you get the right question"

************ TO BE CONTINUED ***************

Pawpet Show #194 - Christmas! - Dec 21st, 2003 - Timeline 1/2
compiled by (Blackfoot Ferret) [And behind schedule too]

2:02 - Pawpet Match Game continues, with Punktiger on the phone.
        Tuxedo Ras "Skates waited too long..<Crappy "How long did he
          wait?> to put up his Christmas decorations.. <Ezra "How long
          did he wait?>.. well, I wasn't asking how long he waited :P,
          so.. instead of putting up Christmas Green, he put up a
          Christmas.. <BLANK!>"
        <70'sMatchGameMusic.mp3> Ras gets into the groove
2:03 - Rasvar's looking great, although he isn't sure the aspect
          ratio on Realplayer is helping..
2:04 - Rasvar, like other anchormen, is wearing jeans and sneakers
          below the usual camera range.
        Poink takes the cheap hit "As far as Anchors go, he could
          hold the Titanic in place!"
        Rasvar "EXCUSE ME A SECOND!" heads off camera. Poink "OH,
          BLOODY HELL!" Rasvar "This is what the Saint's kicker
          couldn't do this afternoon!"
http://www.stupidvideos.com/?VideoID=668
        Crappy sings "When the Saints Go Marching In"
        PunkTiger "Jack-O-Lantern!"
2:05 - Alison "Christmas Man"
        Devin "Christmas Police Standoff"
2:06 - Ohio sniper on 270. Sefina "And I take 270 every day"
        Sefina tries to give her answer, but people keep talking about
          silly sports.
        Sefina "CHristmas Borsh"
2:07 - Poink "I was going to say a Naked Rasvar.. but instead I went
          for something tasteful! The Christmas-Mashed-Potatoe-
          Sculpture of Michael Eisner"
[Oh sure. That will make the aliens come.] Poink is filling in for
        Java's part of The Person You Cannot Match.
        Ezra "Christmas Cactus.. only thing left in the nursery"
        Crappy "Going with the delayed Holiday thing, I said the
          American Flag."
2:08 - Rasvar "Well.. you still have one match, with Ezra.."
        NEXT Q: Punk "Hit Me with your best show!"
        Ras "Flenza has really unusual Christmas cards!"
        Punk "How unusual are they?" "Instead of people kissing under
          the mistletoe, they're <BLANKING> under it!"
        (Easy!) Rasvar "REMEMBER-THE-RATING" (Darn..)
2:09 - Punk "What rating?"
        Rasvar "If you match Poink.. we'll send a people of guys to
          you, and you'll get a free broom."
2:10 - Crappy need to think more "Turn the music back on!"
        <TwangyMatchGameMusic.mp3>
2:11 - Devin is writing a book? Punk "I love the smell of carcinogen
          in the morning!"
2:12 - Punk's answer "Ignoring Each Other!" Ras hmms "You know, I
          should do that more often.."
        Crappy "Dancing!"
        Ezra "Who me? Poinking!" Poink "YAY!"
2:13 - People speak up that they won't boink Poink.
        Poink "I had to think back to my old family Christmases.."
          "Cornholeing!" Somebody BONKS Poink, who freaks!
2:14 - Alison is changing it.. Ras "You can't change it!!"
        Alison "Camping? :)" people want the first answer!
2:15 - Devin "I should have changed mine.. I would have sworn it
          would have matched.."
        Sefina "Practicing Tantric Positions.." multi-Oohs! "I'll be
          teaching lessons later this week.."
        Devin's turn! Devin shakes his head "All you guys went the
          low-brow route.." Ras "What do you expect!?"
        Devin "They are.. crushing walnuts in a lovely fireside dish
          that is mother taught him how to bake when he was very young
          she was a very good baker, and also this marker's nice!"
2:16 - Devin yays ^_^ Camera keeps staring at his chin piercing.
2:17 - Last Question! Ras "Thank goodness.."
        "WILDFOX was being a real Scrooge this year.."
        Sefina oks "How much of a Scrooge was he?" "He gave all of
          his friends <BLANKS> instead of Christmas cards."
http://www.stupidvideos.com/?VideoID=636
        <GuessWhatMusicIsPlaying.mp3>
2:18 - People write. Rasvar does Krystals product endorsement.
2:19 - Punktiger "COAL!" people oh, good answer!
        Greasespoto "AChunkaChunkaBurningLove!"
        Poink "Hocky sticks!"
        Crappy "Blanks! Blank cards. You answered the question for me"
2:20 - Poink attacks Greasespoto, who seems to enjoy it o_O
        Rasvar "Poink crossed with Greasespoto..."
        Rasvar "Be afraid" Ras/Ez/Crpy "Be VERY AFRAID.."
http://www.stupidvideos.com/?VideoID=127
        Ezra "Tax audits!" ouchies
2:21 - Javachicken "Leaves"
        Devin "Stab wounds!" Punk "That's just very inexpensive
          piercings don't you know.."
2:22 - Sefina "He's not goona match me.. he gave them POINK for
          Christmas!" Ezra "Now that's cheap.."
        Rasvar sighs "Punktiger.. you only matched Ezra once.." "But
          it was a match!"
        Channel answers: Pink slips. Crabs. Used condoms. Lobsters
          Flu germs. AOL CDs.
2:24 - Poink "OH, GAWDDAMMIT! RASVAR FARTED! HE FARTED!"
        Folks aren't sure.. camera pans down to show Bandit walking
          on top of JR as he's laying down, sniffing curiously.
2:25 - Really quick interview with Punktiger.
        "Boxers or briefs?" "Briefs"
        Color "Purple"
        Worst smell "Bedford harbor at low tide"
        Way to kill Poink? "SLOoowwly. Very slloowwwly"
        Greasespoto brags about how bloated he feels from the burger.
          Crappy "uuughh... Oh, Onions!"
        Burger (Burgerville!) "Burger from Wendy's, SW burger.."
2:26 - Poink is cornered "Ras-var... Yappy just farted AGAIN! And he's
          next to the FAN! >_<"
        Greasespoto relieves himself upwind of Poink with a look of
          ecstasy.
2:27 - Animated TV series to bring back? "Well, there is one, but
          nobody's ever heard of it.."
        Punk likes "Wild Knights GulKeeva". (?) "Japanese animation
          around 1995 or so"
http://www.clovertone.com/punktiger/kemono.htm (Here's a cool site..
  Hey! Guess who owns it :) )
        Celebrate Christmas? "In the broad general sense. I am
          Roman Catholic."
2:28 - Poink "You're a Roman Catholic?" Punk "..Yes" "He's a roamin'
          catholic.. and has been since the day he was born..<song>"
        Poink "You can stop me?" Ezra "Yes, please stop."
          Poink "Every sper..ok <stops>" Punk "Oh please.."Cpy"Oh NO!"
        Strangest City Visited? Punk thinks, wants to say SanFran, but
          just as a joke.
2:29 - Mr. S&M? Ezra recalls someone leading another on a leash.
          Leather convention. Punk "And you think FURRIES are wierd.."
http://www.stupidvideos.com/?VideoID=255
        Punk tells of Boston fetish convention "It's just something I
          heard, I don't actually go to those things.." People nod.
2:30 - Magic 8-ball. Grease "Who's got 8 balls?"
http://www.80stees.com/products/Herve_Villechaize_Big_Pimpin_t-shirt.asp
2:31 - Punk hmms. Poink "8-ball, will he come up with a question?"
          Crappy "It is decidedly so!" Punk OOhs and future-warps
        Punk "Will have have an extraordinary, MINDBLOWING adventure,
          at Pawpets Megaplex?"
http://www.ppmp.com/ (Oops..)
http://www.ppmp.info/ (There we go) Feb 21st
        Grease "You'll be able to experience me eating a Krystal,
          and blowing it out in your face."
http://www.stupidvideos.com/?VideoID=33
2:32 - 8ball "It is certain!" Punk "Oh great.. cool!"
        Affirmation Ball "Your breath is so minty!"
        People wish Punktiger a Merry Christmas! Poink "Happy
          Chanucka!" "Happy ShakaChan to you too!"
        Punk "Oh by the way! TRWolf told me to say.. Bollucks!"
        <FelisNavidad.mp3>
2:33 - Greasespoto sings "It's too frikin long.."
        5 characters all sing different filk versions at once.
        Rasvar practices Ihitsyu on Poink. POink "OWW! RODNEY KING!"
2:34 - Camera checks out people in the kitchen.
2:35 - Mach does CHANNEL ROLLCALL!
        "1MachPrize.. what? o_O"
2:36 - Camera explores the house, looks at Mach looking at his
          laptop. Great socks.
        Ezra "People think Mach has no pants on!" Mach lifts the
          laptop to show shorts. "You WISH!"
2:37 - Mach "I do have knooby knees" give him extra armor for stunts?
        Back to stage. Cow bangs it up with maracas. "Moo do moo do.."
2:38 - Poink necks with Otter? Ezra "Get a room!"
2:39 - Ezra plans to start White Elephant. Otter and Poink leave
          to do otter things.
        Moo peeks up.. with EYES O_O Ezra cracks up!
------------
2:40 - VIDEO - PAWPETS FAR EAST - "The Chimney Song" featuring
          Scratch.
        Scratch before the chimney "There's something stuck up in the
          Chimney and it doesn't make a sound.."
2:41 - Something stuck up there all week long. Flue backed up?
        Stuck up there all month.. "Now the house smells funny its
          a big disgrace.."
        Stuck up there all year "I'll be waiting up for Santa like
          I did last year, but my Mother says he's already.. here..."
2:42 - Santa will be there every year from then on..
        "The Chimney Song" Bob Rivers Comedy Gorp
        Sung by Scratch   Performed by Corsair
        Tom Phillips - 2003
----------
        Cow with female eyes. Jess "They're upside down though :P"
        <UpsideDownScreen.Fx>
2:43 - Moo does cheerleader with two Xmas bows ^_^ Makes eyelashes
          at you, even through eyelashes face down. Jess "His eyes
          have legs.."
2:44 - Moo does Miss America "I'mmSoHappyMoo ^_^"
2:45 - Gifts sent in by viewers!
        Garrison/Hobbes posters. Motivational posters?
        Demotivational Posters.. "*INDIFFERENCE* It takes 43 muscles
          to frown, and 18 to smile. But it doesn't take any to just
          sit there with a dumb look on your face. <Cheetah.gif>"
2:46 - "*AMBITION!* The journey of a 1,000 miles sometimes ends very
          very badly. <BearGulpingJumpingSalmonInMidair.gif>"
        Picture by Cooner, Santa Yappy!
2:47 - Garrison/Hobbes sends in wall-plaque. Thanks for the Memories.
        Yappy "Mammaries? There's no enough mammaries in this house."
        Yappy "Well, there's a pair that's still bloated, and are
          feeding kids.." Raini says something like 'thank you'.
        JR manboobs. JR notes Ras needs a training bra.
        GIFT: "Merry Christmas for a deserving Pawpet castmember over
          18" Yappy "I think that's gonna be... Crappy!..."
2:48 - Crappy gets.. Brandy beans! Jellybeans with Brandy?
2:49 - Present for anyone. People kick nerd. Poink wonders if someone
          send an anvil to Crappy, so he can drop it on his head..
        <JingleBellRock.mp3> <IntentionallyBadPawpetSinging.mp3>
2:50 - Nerd gets a Sports Bear.
2:51 - <Yappy'sGutCam.fx> Locobunny gets a bunny!
        Harik, Raini and Cordelia, from JonnyBlanco...
        While opening, Bandit hears <DogsBarkingJingleBells.mp3> and
          investigates! Present is 3 Between the Lions puppets.
2:52 - Box of CD games!
2:53 - Simba in tech gear typing on the controls. He looks sideways
          "Oh, it's me.."
        Yappy rapidly passes out small presents. Art, CDs, stuff.
2:54 - Yappy oohs.. "To a special boyfriend.. Jackrabbit.."
        Mach Stormrunner (.com)
2:55 - Devin gets a Hobbit deck of cards? Animation cells.
2:56 - Camera follows Jess for no apparent reason.
2:57 - Breaking out the Brandy Beans. Yappy woohs "80proof!"
2:58 - Drawing numbers for White Elephant
        <MrWhiteChristmas.mp3> Lots of semi-cheers. "I'm too much.."
2:59 - KP notes White Elephant numbers on the bottom of the Krystal
          boxes, you -must- one to play.
http://www.jmanx.com/files/wav/simpsons/Hans-SugarSweet.wav
3:01 - Yappy "Hey, I need another Brandy Bean."
http://www.jmanx.com/files/wav/warcraft/Burp,%20excuse%20me..wav
        <HawaiianVersionOf12DaysOfChristmas.mp3>
3:02 - "4 flower lais, 3 dried squid, 2 coconuts, and something about
          a papaya tree.."
3:03 - Simba triumphantly holds up a box of Thin Mints!
http://www.jmanx.com/files/wav/warcraft/Don't%20push%20it.wav
        Gifts for Herbie, but he's not there. People reserve -his-
          White Elephant gift for himself later.
        Yappy "It's probably Ramen Noodles."
http://www.jmanx.com/files/wav/warcraft/Barf.wav
3:04 - KP gets 2 jars of mustard, 2 TLK plushes, a Bear Hat, and
          Neopets trading cards.
        <FrostyTheSnowman.mp3>
3:05 - Sefina gets blue box with Hanukka paper.. computer gear?
        Opening.. Kung Pow DVD, JR's thong (!!) KP "This -IS- Poink's
          Uberfangirl :P"
http://www.jmanx.com/files/wav/warcraft/Ya%20got%20a%20belly%20full%20of%20Haggis.wav
3:06 - Sefina tests the stretch in the thong, then wraps it up tiny
3:07 - Simba opens the smallest package.. "It's a very small vial
          of something.." "Oh MY GOD.."
        Simba holds up, and the camera focus on.. a SINGLE WHITE
          6-SIDED DIE! He considers eating it.
http://www.guimp.com/
3:08 - Wait.. magic trick die!
        <LetItSnow.mp3>
3:09 - Scooby Box. KP "Best thing about Scooby wrapping paper, you
          get to cut Scooby over and over.."
3:10 - KP gets a CD. Virtual Pets? Poink "What a piece of crap! :)"
          KP arghs "I have two real ones!!" Yappy "And they makes lots
          of crap!"
        Buswiser Blimp flies around, crashes into the fan and goes
          flying.
3:11 - Simba lists the number of things Mach can steal for his pick..
3:12 - More gaudy ties! And tech gear. Yappy explains how they all
          work to Jess, who takes a step back at the Floppy Insert.
3:14 - Mach searches through things, lifts the thong? KP "That's
          JR's thong" "EW!"
http://www.jmanx.com/files/wav/warcraft/Fart,%20laugh.wav
3:15 - Mach gets a Teddy Bear. Charity bear?
3:16 - Yappy chooses to steal instead of opening the Green Package..
        Rasvar notes there can only be 3 steals!
        Yappy steals's Simba's magic die!
3:17 - Simba gets season ticket for Jacksonville Jaguars!
          .. for last season o_O Simba "It has his name on it.."
        KP "Why do I have the feeling you're going to swap with
          someone? :)" Simba "Because it sucks.. "
        Wait, Wait! Coupon on the back. Simba "You can get $3.99 off
          of.. anything at WinDixie." discount on fried chicken.
3:18 - Simba does a great job of imitating Nerd.
        Simba's last.. gets to steal. Considers stealing Herbie's
          gift..
        KP "You know if you pick this, that Lon gets stuck with the
          ticket.. BUT, Lon really likes chicken!" Simba hmm "He won't
          mind.."
3:19 - Opened half-full mustard bottles.. or chicken. Simba "With
          enough mustard you can take out a whole army."
http://www.tk421.net/gallery/sounds/circlek.wav
        Simba tries on the Bear Hat. "Oh yeah.. this is such a tough
          decision."
        Could get Kung Pow "Thong underwear comes with it.."
3:20 - Steal Thin Mints to give Rasvar back his own ticket? "I could
          make his life hell.." starts grinning.
http://www.jmanx.com/files/wav/warcraft/I%20would%20not%20do%20such%20things....wav
3:21 - Simba "How about we decide to regift ALL this stuff.."
        White Elephant's finished! KP "I don't know if the audience
          had and fun watching this, we had a blast doing this!"
http://www.jmanx.com/files/wav/warcraft/Bombs%20are%20great.wav
3:22 - Keylock that looks like handcuffs?
        Sefina poses in JR's thong! Although it's on over her jeans.
        Simba recalls the CHristmas Wedgie scene from Bad Santa.
---------
3:23 - Rasvar "ART JAM!!!"
        http://pawpet.org/funday/art/2003-12-21/
        Nutcracker Bandit wishes everyone a Nut-Cracking Christmas!
http://www.jmanx.com/files/wav/warcraft/I%20don't%20want%20to%20do%20this.wav
        Pawpet Match Game! "That's scary!" Ezra "That's Funny!"
        How the Poink stole Christmas <With Apologies to Dr Suess
          and Chuck Jones>
3:24 - Poink's Ultimate Christmas present.. Hooters gift certificate,
          XXX rated voop bondage movie.. and.. O_O
        Tod as Rudolph!
        Mutt as Santa.
        TodFerret as Rudolph "I hate working Christmas Eve.."
          Devin "Rudolph has Mono."
3:25 - Song about drunk Poink.
        Lynx, Crappy and Poink, the 3 Christmas Ghosts.
3:26 - Ezra thanks everyone. Poink "And thank you for the hard core
          pron for Christmas!"
http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view.php?id=141825
3:27 - Poink "Oh, by the way, those Krystals? <FART!>" "OOhhh!"
http://www.jmanx.com/files/wav/warcraft/we've%20got%20explosives.wav
        Evergreen scented Christmas Fart
-----------
        CAPTION PHOTOS! SANTA GETS HIS LIGHTS PUNCHED OUT
- Don't punch me! I'm Santa, not Michael Jackson!
*****
(Argh.. not more Jackson bashing) [Well, it couldn't do more damage
  to his face]
(That's not the point! Sure, I know he's strange, and overprotective
  of his kids to the point of nearly suffocating them behind those
  masks.. but MJ hurting a child on purpose? Doing something against
  his/her will? This is the guy who wrote Man In The Mirror. The US
  Justice System works by Innocent Until Proven Guilty, but its seems
  like every talking head not worth their pay was ready to hang the
  guy the very week the charges were filed. Lewis Carrol liked
  drawing naked portraits of children he befriended because he thought
  it helped preserve their innocence, you wouldn't put Alice in chains
  would you? There's no way I'm going to trash Michael, the very last
  thing we need are more 1-minute negatively bias media clips designed
  solely to humiliate and degrade a misunderstood person.)
[... Alright.. then I'll do one.]
[ http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view.php?id=138561 ]
(Computer, you SUCK!!) [Don't blame me, I'm just your Id.]
*****
- This is for the FAX you gave me last year!
- Body Slam! Body Slam! Hairuycken!
- Fatality, Perfect Victory.  Jess " *Flawless* "
- Tonight on MTV Celebrity deathmatch, Santa vs Bill Gates
- THIS is what you get for not getting my bike and playstation!
- Oh my GOD! My boyfriend's beating up Santa! You Bastard!
- Chilli's boyfriend losses it when he finds Chilli on some old
   man's lap. Fill at 11.
3:28 - Anime Strongbad "Dooooubbblllee DUTCH!!"
- Elf rebellion
- Thanx Santa, I've always wanted to do that!
- Pokemon crap AGAIN Santa? DIE DIE DIE!
3:29 - Yay, you liked that, didn't ya?
-----------
SHOUTOUTS <UnidentifiedSnufflingSounds.mp3> Poink "He's a nosepooter!
- Save holiday for forces oversees - Prayfar, & Brian the Rat
- It's Hanuka guys. Pronounce the KH like you were clearing your
    throat.  (o_O I'm still spelling it wrong..)
3:30 - Something very random.
- Sulin and Carlfox wish folks Happy New Year
- Enjoy the presents - John Blanco "Thanks Johnny!"
-----------------
3:31 - Poink "So, you know what guys? I'm normally not the guy with
          the Christmas Spirit.. andI'mnotgonnabethistime..but.. there
          is one tradition that we've always done every Christmas and
          we *still* need to do it.." Simba "What?" Ezra "12 Pains?"
        Poink "That too.. but, the other one, involving the little
          green frog.."
        Java "o_O wHAT?" "Yer a mean one..." "oH yEAH!"
     Sefina is puppeting Java "i'M hAVING aN oUT oF bODy eXPERIENCE!"
-----------
3:32 - VIDEO: REVENGE AGAINST THE ANNOYING DWORLD PHOTOGRAPHERS
        Camera people ambush parkgoers, offering to take pictures for
          them for a price.
        Mutt calls to the photonerds "Excuse me! I was wondering if I
          could get you all to stand together for Picture Please?"
3:33 - Photographers stand together "Oh my gosh, they're falling for
          the Jedi Mind Trick.."
http://www.tk421.net/gallery/sounds/destiny.wav
        Mutt offers picture for free. Green Shirts gather and line up
        Mutt "It's working.. it's working.."
http://www.tk421.net/gallery/sounds/wipe.wav
        Photographer doesn't like pictures? Mutt "It's your job!"
        Mutt "Say cheese!" "Chhheeeeeezzz.."
        *click* Mutt "Thank you very much! You can purchase these
          pictures on your way out."
        Interviewing a Woman of Camera.
        Mutt "Do you consider yourself a phone solicitor, where you're
          attacking people and forcing them to take photographs?"
          She nods "Very much so :)"
3:34 - But she is not without talent. Mutt "Who's your favorite
          person to take photographs off?" "You :)" "ME!?"
        She doesn't do phones or spam though. "There you go, Merry
          Christmas!" "Thank you!"
-----------
        NEXT VIDEO: UNITED METHODIST CHURCH OF ORLANDO
        Well-dressed people ".. and you're watching the Funday Pawpet
          Show!"
        Both people raise their arms, and ring a bell at you. *BING!*
3:35 - Bell Ninjas! Light and cheerful heavy metal.
        <ComfortAndJoy-BellChoir.mp3>
------------
3:37 - Ezra is bummed they didn't do Carol of the Bells. "Sneaky.."
------------
        THIRD VIDEO: SANTA IN A SHARK-SKIN SUIT?
        No.. Shark dressed as Santa. Dolphin friend greets kids.
        Human Santa O_O Big-ass facial hair.
        "(disgruntled?) This is Santa Claus again.. thank you for
          watching, and have a Merry Christmas. HoHoHo!.." holds arms
          up, and waits for the camera to leave.
------------
        Ezra "And Santa says.. go away." Poink "Santa has hemorrhoids."
        Sefina0tter is wearing the thong? Poink asks why? "I don't
          know.. maybe I was preparing for later?    :) "
        Ezra, Crappy and Poink all look at the camera. Poink "ooOOhh."
          Ezra uhohs. Poink "Good thing Bambi's at her mother's.."
3:38 - "Where's Java?" Java goes hurling through the air "i'M hAVING
          aN oUT oF bODY eXPER*IMPACT*oOOO! OWWww..;.." Poink "I JUST
          GOT HIT BY A FREAKIN' FROG!!"
        People look for the Grinch Song, but it's on Herbie's CD.
        People sing it anyway, without music.. "You're a mean one..
          Mr. Java. You really, look like, a toad.." Java "GOOD!"
        Ezra stops singing. Poink "You're humpin' here and humpin'
          there and humpin' in Rasvar's underwear.."
3:39 - Adlibbing the filk! Poink somehow works in even more Rasvar
          quips..
http://www.jmanx.com/files/wav/warcraft/youuuuu.wav
http://www.jmanx.com/files/wav/warcraft/kaboom.wav
        Poink "Ah-OH-EH-OW-AG-GA!" Java "yOu sHouLD tAKE tHIS oUTSIDE!
        Ras wields carrot like a mace.
3:40 - Christmas cards! Happy Holidays from SK-1 and fur incarnations
3:41 - Preparing for 12 pains.. "All puppeteers on stage!"
http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view.php?id=140857 (Sing along!)
3:42 - The pains: 1-Buying a Christmas Tree
        2- Rigging up the lights
        3- Hangovers
        4- Sending Christmas cards.
        "FIVE MONTHS OF BILLS!" "Send-ing-Christ-mas-cards" "hANGovers
          "Rigging up the LIGHTS!" "And finding a Christmas Tree!"
          <Bell.mp3>
        6- Facing my inlaws. More puppets arrive! Poink's inflatable
          sheet?
3:43 - 7- Salvation Army <Bell.mp3>
        8- Kid "I wanna Transformer for Kristmas!"
http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view.php?id=135589 [Didn't say which
3:44 - "What, we have no EXTENSION CHORDS?"
        9 - Finding parking spaces. "Daddy I want some CANDY!"
          <Bell.mp3>
        10 - Batteries not included? "No parking spaces.."
          Kid "BUY ME SOMETHING!" "Get a job you bum!"
          "Oh, facing my inlaws.."
http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view.php?id=72227 (Scary o_O)
        11 - Stale TV Specials. "Oh, I don't even KNOW half these
          people!"
3:45 - 12 - "SINGING CHRISTMAS CAROLS"
        The End! Moo looks for his missing eyes.
        <GrandmaGotRanOverByAReindeer.mp3>
        Yappy "I made an observation.. not even Bandit will eat
          Krystals."
3:46 - Ezra thinks grandma's medication was Viagra?
        Hoofprints and claws marks. [This is bad?]
        Everyone sings! Poink "But as for me and the clam, we
          believe.." Poink makes out with Ipswitch? o_O
3:47 - <ChristmasAtGroundZero.mp3> Crappy "Is this Wierd Al?"
          Poink "No, this is normal Al." "Oh.."
*EVERYONE SING!*
http://www.elyrics.net/go/w/Weird_Al_Yankovic/Christmas_At_Ground_Zero/
3:48 - "The radio, just let us know, that this is not a test."
3:49 - "You might hear some reindeer on your rooftop.. <Saxophone>
         Or Jack frost on your windowsill..
         But if someone's climbing down your chimney.. <Saxophone>
         You better load your gun and shoot to kill! Ezra "Oh Yeah!"
        "It's Christmas at Ground Zero! And if the radiation level's
         ok.. I'll go out with you and see all the new mutations on
         New Years day."
http://www.80stees.com/products/I_Love_Popples_t-shirt.asp
        "I'll ducks cover with my Yuletide lover underneath the
          mistletoe.." Otter pounces Poink!
3:50 - <Sirens.mp3> Ezra "Wait.. those aren't atom bombs.."
        "Yappy and JR had KRYSTALS!"
http://www.80stees.com/products/Sanford_The_big_one.asp
        <StageGetsNuked.fx> Ezra "There we go!"
        Ezra resolves to 'talk with Poink. Poink "I can't talk! I've
          got an otter tongue in my mouth!" keeps necking with Otter
3:51 - Crappy "AH!" leaves.
        <HereComesSantaClaus.mp3> <Poinks'sMindWorking.uhoh>
3:52 - Ezra can do it too.. "he-doesn't-know-just-when-to-shut-up
          just about all the time.."
3:53 - Poink "He's-gotta-sack-of-good-ies-for-the kids all going to
          game.. <riff> he's got a buttcrackforRasvar and-its-so-cute
          -and-Ezra gets one too..and-I'm-about-to get-hit-cause he
          wouldn't talke to me and Oww..Oww..OWW!"
        "Here comes Santa Claus, here comes Santa Claus.." "Rasvar
          hits like a girl.."
        Rasvar takes Nerd's Santa hat and stuffs Poink in it.
        <Musical interlude> Ezra "I have such a gift for you Crappy!"
          "For ME?" "Yes, next year, we're going to muzzle Poink!"
        Rasvar keeps bashing Poink with a maraca until Bandit tries
          to steal it.
3:54 - The End. Yay!
        <ChipmunksChristmastimeSong.mp3> Poink "Oh crap.."
        Tod joins, wearing gaudy Christmas costume. Sings with Crappy
          and Otter
3:55 - Poink changes the dialong a bit. Bondage gear in woods?
          "ALVIN!!" Crappy "AH! Ok.."
3:56 - Poink "Guy's it 11'o'clock!"
        <Goodnight!.mp3>
3:57 - "You know..""You always.. want to smell another Krystal's fart
        Cast thanks special guests, Sefina, Ironwolf(?), JavaChickn,
          some garbled.
        Poink "And of course, the cast of irregulars.."
------------
CREDITS
------------
CAST
Herbie Hamill      Randy Fox      Jim Mogle          John Cole
Dan Boatright      Dan Merillat   Melissa Merillat   Devin Bray
Jess Kiela         Scott Garron   Patrick Dowden

MUSIC
"Soul Bossa Nova" Quincy Jones
"Adios, Aurevoir, Aufwidesien" Lawrence Welk Equestrians
<And a lot not in the list>

Server providers:
Aetobatus (wolf with sword o_O)
Thumper
Frysco
Timduru
Harik
Simba
------------
3:58 - Poink "... and Arnold Swarzenegger. That would be me."
        Tod "We'll see you next week to ring out 2003!"
        Crappy "Merry Christmas!"
        Stagehand waves Santa Hat in front of the camera like a red
          cape. Poink goes back to necking with Otter.
        <Goodnight!.mp3> Poink "Remember.. the safe word is banana"

************** END OF SHOW #194 **************

COOL LINKS! - FURTHER CONFUSION - THREE WORLD OPENINGS
These were from the Three World Openings event at Further Confusion,
where Timothy Albee, Samantha Patterson and Christina "Smudge" Hanson
each showed some of their new animation.

http://www.backbreaker.com/ <- Main site for Smudge and other artists
http://www.backbreaker.com/Theater/theater.htm <- Movie Theater
http://www.backbreaker.com/Theater/YotePage.htm
   ^-- Yote Tail, first video shown. Two coyotes have a contest
http://www.backbreaker.com/Theater/EbinMayPage.htm
   ^-- Ebin & May: Something to Remember. From the series that ran in
         Yarf and is currently running in Furrlough.

http://circle.twu.net/animation.cgi
   ^-- Page with LOTS of Samantha Patterson's videos
http://circle.twu.net/animate/FCTV/white_rabbit.mov
   ^-- Magic Portal. Commercial for FC also running on FCTV. White
       Rabbit invites human girl to his world.
http://circle.twu.net/animate/pencil/freebird_web.mov
   ^-- Free as a bird. Cat wants out of the house. Sad :/
http://circle.twu.net/animate/wirehead/wh_physics.wmv
   ^-- Wirehead discovers she isn't Gumby (might need IE)

http://www.wordware.com/ghostwarrior/
   ^-- Main site for Timothy Albee's 22-minute movie Ghost Warrior
       (Due to illness, Albee wasn't there at FC, and didn't have GW
        finished in time for the con as he planned, but they did show
        several finished clips from it. Message was it would be done
        in time for Eurofurence.)