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Funday Pawpet Show #200 - (Draft) - Feb 29, 2004 - Timeline 1/2
compiled by (Blackfoot Ferret) [And his computer. STAR WARS RULES!]
<Things that actually happened on the show>
>Things you, the reader can do<
*Warnings* (Links that may bend the rating a bit. Not used often, but it always helps to check the age listing on Newgrounds files)
 
http://www.pawpet.org/funday/index.php?show
^-- To download last week's show, or watch live on Sunday
 
>Background Music. Open in another window while reading<
http://www.ocremix.org/songs/Super_Mario_Bros_3_Battle_Rocks_OC_ReMix.mp3
info http://www.ocremix.org/detailmix.php?mixid=OCR00970
 
HIGHLIGHTS - SHOW 200!
(Under construction) [But there's lots of strange food, wierd music, and even weirder people involved.] (Finished 1st half with Highlights will be on alt.fan.furry with the 2nd half later this week.)
 
********* START! **********
 
0:00 - Show #200! New, groovy selection of openings logos!
 Andy Warhowl mutli-Mutt, Arthur, Poink.
0:01 - Looking into everyone's eyes ._. o_o getting closer O_O
0:02 - Random changing slides of all the characters, 2 frames each!
0:03 - Ezra with dark shakes, Rummage, and happy balloons!
 Rummage "Well we finally made it, Show 200!" Ezra "A show so
   special, we had to have it on Leap Day!"
 Feb 29, day that only exists every 4 years. Bad birthday day.
 Rasvar's belt. Balloons attack Ezra. Rum "We took a few weeks off
   to recharge, refresh, revitalize."
0:04 - Doctor Poink. 'Sale' balloons? Rasvar "We advertise?"
 Ezra "Tod was in charge of going out and getting the decorations,
   but he had no budget, so he did the best.. agh!" Sale balloon
   attacks, brief battle. Poink "Balloon! ^_^"
 Introductions. Rummage "And I'm toasted." 30 hours to make
   opening video? All the New Logo submissions from fans turned
   into one uber-sequence.
0:05 - Ezra got dressed up, new specs.
0:06 - Herbie/Mutt needs to work, but can say hi for 30 seconds.
 Poink "And 30 seconds of Mutt is better than 2hours of Home On
   the Range."
http://www.stupidvideos.com/Default.asp?VideoID=25
[You haven't even seen the movie..] (No time to download it)
 Arthur HaBuDas! Rummage looks behind the stage "It's a disaster
   zone back here."
 <ICan'tBelieveI'mKissingYou.mp3> People ?? Poink "That was
   exerpts from 'Ging and Ras go to Hollywood!'"
0:07 - Mutt! "Hello Hello. Hey there." People arriving at work,
 has to drive hour to get there. Also doing freelance. Gantu?
 Working on ride: Stitch's Great Escape.
0:08 - Also working on Power Rangers show! Poink "He's the Yellow
 Ranger." Mutt "I'm the white, fluffy Ranger.."
http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view.php?id=105756 (Encore!)
 Mutt wows at all the cameras. Poink "We hit a 7-11."
 <Sideview.cam> <KP.cam> <HarikCellphone.cam> <Mutt'sEars.cam>
0:09 - Mutt reads a list of possible topics for tonight.
 "Leap Year commercials you hate, getting Spam about free trip to
  DisneyWorld, Timothy Albee's new DVD, What do you give up for
  Lent, Gay Marriages (Yappy ers "We won't go there..") Triplets
  of Beville, the Passion of the Christ movie.. what else, that's
  it.."
http://www.jmanx.com/files/wav/Mr.%20T/jumpvan.wav
 Mutt yays! "Thank you very much, goodnight!" leaves.
   Yappy "In and out, just like spicy Jumbalaya."
 Mutt peeks up, congrates on 200th show!
 <PleaseGiveUsSomeWonderfulWordsToLiveBy!.mp3> Mutt "Holy Crap.."
0:10 - Mutt hasn't been on since November. Yappy "And I didn't
 erase you from the credits, like I did Harik and Raini." Harik ??
 Oscar Awards out this evening! Will Triplets or Nemo win?
 Mutt on Triplets "Don't be sober when you go see this film.."
http://movies.yahoo.com/shop?d=hv&cf=info&id=1808516030
0:11 - Movie sequels coming out. Scooby Doo 2? Rasvar "There's an
 even scarier one coming out.. Poink knows what it is." Poink oh
   NOs, and faints? Rummage "One of those Superhero movies?"
 Live action Garfield movie. Mutt notes a friend of the show
   worked on the movie "It's not his fault.."
 Rummage "Garfield was a fad in the 80s!" Mutt "WE were a fad in
   the 80s!"
http://pawpet.org/funday/art/2002-07-21/Kage%20Caption%20contest.jpg
 Rasvar "When did we ever get FAD status? :P"
0:12 - Alien vs Predator. Mutt "Crap on the Range is coming out
 April 2."
http://www.stupidvideos.com/?VideoID=403
 Rummage sets Home on the Range vs Spy Kids 2? Mutt feels torment.
0:13 - Tickets to see Steve-O from MTV's Jackass, live show?
http://movies.yahoo.com/shop?d=hv&cf=trailer&id=1808396034
 Preparing for the show, bringing things to throw? Rasvar suggests
   Durian. Harik has some? Durian Chilly sent in a year ago. "AGH!
0:14 - Rummage thanks TeddyRuxpin for upgrading the Mpeg servers
 so they don't crash!
http://161.58.5.90/tron/ersdprgm.wav
 Rummage "So if we can get through the whole night without a
   crash.." Rasvar "Great, you just cursed us!"
http://161.58.5.90/tron/gamegrid.wav
0:15 - Herbie's art director for Power Rangers at MGM. People note
 the Yellow ranger is female!
0:16 - Rasvar "I think we have our Art Jam topic for tonight,
 Pawpets, specifically MUTT, as Power Rangers!"
 Powerpoint Presentation on Power Rangers? Rummage "MicrosoftPower
   PointPresentationOfPowerRangersof.. the Project, Precipitated
   by.. Pot?" gives up. KP "By a Puppet with Paws.."
 Poink gets another idea for Things That Make Crappy Scream.."I
   need to mention to him about.. Rasvar as the Red Ranger." Rum
   screams!
0:17 - Mutt waves and goes to intercept the people heading for
 his office.
0:18 - Kitchen cam, Devin! Strikes relaxes pose as Rasvar hammers
 on the camera focus.
 Show 200 cake! Good food. Plan for 200-candle class cake
   changed for cake with 2-0-0 candles to avoid massive property
   damage, weight gain.
0:19 - Raini's baby Corty makes happy noises in the background!
 KP "Ya Corty, I know, we've wasted 800 hours on this show :P"
 Yay for the show! Ras "This is your.. 200 song, this is your 200
   song.." KP "And this show is very long.." yay.
 KP "Somebody blow this out before it trips the fire alarm.."
   Ras "The fire alarm was moved!"
0:20 - Cake time, empty stage. Balloons! <Cheering.mp3>
0:21 - Balloons. Kitchen. Everyone sitting down eating.
 Rasvar "Everybody stare at Lynx!" Lynx "Why me??" "Because we
   don't have anybody on stage!"
 Lynx does filler "Ok.. I'm just sitting here.. and eating.."
   Corty squeals! "And listening to Corty :)"
 Lynx and Nerdferret haven't seen the new opening, getting food
   and stuff.
0:22 - Repeat of opening! Then it crashes. Nerd "I cawnt beliweve
 it's alwready been 200 years doing this show!" <Clapping!.mp3>
<TryingTheNewOpeningSequenceAgain.tech>
0:23 - Nerd and Poink filk the Opening sequence, including selves!
 Doctor Poink. Bitchvoop eating your face. MiniRandy tongue thing.
 25 Poinks O_O
0:24 - Naming folks as they appear.
 Super-fast blinking segment. KP "I wonder if Yappy hid something
   in the credits.."
0:25 - <FogHorn.mp3> Ezra "Poink!" Poink "It was Rasvar! Sound
 effect." Ras "I thought that was an edit error!"
 Poink does something at the end of the sequence? Poink "Alright,
   let me see it!" Ras "I can't go back to -that-!"
 Nerd notes they can do anything on the 200th show! Poink
   subliminal messages?
*Rated-R!* http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/196819
 Balloon takes out Ezra again.
0:26 - <OpeningSequenceRewind-Bubbles.repeat> Rasvar searches for
 the Poink Cameo.
0:27 - <EXTREMECLOSEUPSOFPARTSOFTHEOPENER.O_O>
 More fun with windows, small window of stage as people watch
   themselves in the opener.
 Wierd Austin Powers music starts infiltrating people's minds,
   hallucinations..
>Background Music<
http://www.ocremix.org/songs/Bubble_Bobble_Jungle_OC_ReMix.mp3
info http://www.ocremix.org/detailmix.php?mixid=OCR00016
 Ezra "OH MY GOSH, I'm on Poink's face! Tha feels wierd.." Poink
   "A dream come true.."
0:28 - Ezra "I'm gonna have nightmares.. I'm seeing giant Poinks
 before me.."
 <GiantNerdFerrets.fx> Nerd "Owh look! Itz da best pawrt of the
   showw.." Ezra "I'm gonna really have nightmares now o_O There's
   a giant nerd in my face!"
 More logos. Rummage "Pawpets crayon!"
 Ezra "Oh wow, Old School logo!" Poink fidgets "You can zoom out
   now!.." Rasvar snickers.
0:29 - Yappy/Rummage "Right at the song, at the last beat.."
 <Da,DaDa,DaDa,DAA!> Poink looking bashful? [That's -IT-?]
 Poink oohs "I was thinkin a nude shot or something.."
 Nerd ohs! "A piwcture of JR.. getting his.. thing waxed."
http://pawpet.org/funday/art/2003-10-26/JR_Outtake.jpg
Ezra "Um.. no." Jess "Please, I really don't need to be reminded
   >_<" Poink "I've been burned, and stomped, and.."
 Rummage "What is that noise?"
>Ok, that remix is annoying, you can turn it off<
 The Weather Channel. Rasvar's other obsession besides sports?
0:30 - Rasvar "I wanted to see what it was like in full-screen
 mode.. that's the full screen high-definition mode. -Without-
   the zoom ^_^"
 Poink "BTW, you want to talk about him being a Geek?.."
 Poink recalls his cabin trip with Ras "This is Mr. RoughInIt.."
 Water tank backpack with drinking-hat style straw? Ras "Now wait     a minute waitaminute time outtime out!" Ezra "Wait a minute
   Rasvar, you're sucking water through a tube?" "That is for my
   -hiking-!"
 Poink "We were -hiking- through a PARK!" "NO.. I wasn't using it
   there! I used to yesterday when I did my 8-mile hike."
 Poink "I saw him using it when he shopping at WalMart!"
0:31 - Goofiness. Rummage "He gets out of the car.. starts sucking
 on it walking across the parking lot.." Poink "And you know he
 fills it with Vodka! :)" Ezra "Rasvar, are you a Mall Walker?"
 Ras "...NO." Nerd "When I gow out cawping, I bring one of thowse
   construction hat, with the beer bottled attached to it.."
http://www.chillystuff.com/drinkinghelmet.html (Beer not included)
 Poink "He's got this walking stick that doubles as a camera
   tripod!"
 Rummage "He's got a GPS on his HELMET?"
http://www.tk421.net/gallery/sounds/bondjb.wav
 Rasvar arghs "NO! No.." goes into bedroom to get something to
   show them?
0:32 - Rasvar "I wasn't hiking that weekend, I was only doing some
 other stuff!" Chuckles. Poink "Yea.. like cooking steaks that
   we both cleared the cabin with!" "HEY, they were good steaks!"
 Cooking with Gas.  Poink "First -he- ripped one and had to run,
   then *I* ripped one and had to run right after him! We went
   back, swam in the pool for an hour, came back and the bathroom
   was STILL bad!"
http://www.jmanx.com/files/wav/looneytunes/Sylvester-not%20just%20whistling%20Dixie.wav
 Poink "BTW, jumping into a pool when it's FIFTY degrees out is
   STUPID!" Ezra "Who did that?.."
0:33 - Nerd oohs atta idea "I lowve life, it's so COWLD!"
 Poink amends "The pool was heated.." 80deg? Rough o_O
 Tibortiger uses outdoor hot tub in the snow. Nerd "Iwf you jumped
   out fast enouwgh, yo body will explowde!"
 Yappy declines cold hot tub invitation because of his armcast.
   Ras "That's fine! That's great! That's fun! ^_^
>Background Music<
http://www.ocremix.org/songs/Bubble_Bobble_WestSideHomies_OC_ReMix.mp3
info http://www.ocremix.org/detailmix.php?mixid=OCR00212
0:34 - <WindowsBoots.mp3> Yappy describes leaving the hot tub,
 feeling various parts 'get crisp, stiff and frozen'.
 Poink toys with death. Suggestions Ras out of the pool looked
   like a bleached California Raisin. Ras "Oh come on :P Wowwa.."
 Poink "He was all pink, like a Maylox Raisin.." Ezra "You people,
   are Stupid! Why do you do these things??"
0:35 - Ras "I would not go in water below 70deg." Nerd "LAME!"
 Nerd was New Jersey beachgoer. "Jewwyfish latch onto yo face.."
 Ezra "Nerd? Have you ever considered that's the reason you are
   the way you are?" "Ya mean Awesome? :)"
 Disney Cabin. Rummage HAHS! "Oh, that was roughing it!"
0:36 - Poink really likes the double-barrel TP rollers "I hate
 having to get up when I run out."
 Ezra "Rasvar can't go camping without cable TV." Rummage "That
   cable TV kinda sucked also, 80% Disney channel." Japanese
   channels, Afghan channel?
0:37 - 'The Bird Cage' on the Family Channel?
 Rasvar's super gismo belt? Poink "He's got this belt and he goes,
   'I need a snack!', and presses this switch on his hips, and a
   George Forman Grill.." Ras "I do NOT! :P"
0:38 - Ezra wants swirly fries! Poink "That's over the nipple
 patch." Rummage "He's got a mess kit." Ezra "He IS a mess kit!"
 Ras arghs "You guys.." Friends suggest 1 1/2 man tent.
 Rasvar "I've gonna show you -proof- that I went hiking
   yesterday.."
0:39 - Hiking Tycoon for the computer? Rasvar "Ok, that does it..
 everyone get ready, everyone has to go on an overnight hiking
   trip at Primitive Camping. Bring your own shovel!"
 Digging holes for certain needs "That's where you're getting
   you drinking water, too!"
0:40 - Several hiking ideas! Pawpet Survivor?
 Ras puts up his hiking map from yesterday. Ezra "Wait, is Harik's
   house on that stop?"
0:41 - Looking for McDonalds. Rasvar does not like eating maggots.
0:42 - Atkins maggot diet? Rasvar pinpoints Harik's house on the
 map in preparation for orbital bombardment.
0:43 - Cities, town, and then swamp. Poink still doesn't give in
 "Rasvar's a Swamp thing!"
 Ezra "Its it time for Spits or Swallows? I think Yappy's got
   Spits or Swallows on deck, and it's toxic!"
 Yappy "It's not Spits or Swallows, it's just, survival, in the
   wild..when you have nothing."
>Background Music<
http://www.ocremix.org/songs/Mario_Kart_64_Frappe_Cafe_Vibe_OC_ReMix.mp3
info http://www.ocremix.org/detailmix.php?mixid=OCR01107
 <Kitchen.cam> Yappy "Lets say you're floating in the sea, after
   the Titanic sank, and you didn't get swished down under the
   water and bounced off a propellor. And it was somewhere around
   the pre-Cold War, Castro hadn't come quite to power yet, and
   you're floating out in the sea. Before there were MREs, there
   was a thing called, Sea-rations!"
0:44 - "Well, Blackfoot.." Ezra "Sent us some.."
 Yappy holds up a magical golden metal box to the camera "This
   says 'Life Boat and Life Raft rations, by the US Coast Guard'"
 Ezra "Yes.." "And its contents are 7 ounces of pemmican, 7 ounces
   of Ration C..7 ounces of Chocolate and 7 ounces of Malted
   Milk. Approved!, by the US Coast Guard."
(Gotta love government standards) "Also in that life boat would
be.." holds up another can.
   "Emergency Drinking Water, in case you were really thirsty and
   didn't want to drink that salt water!"
(Or Hot Tub water) "HOWEVER.. the challenge with these ...
 .. C-Rations.." Ezra "Is what?"
 Yappy holds up another "Now I don't know if these are ed..
   Blackfoot *said* that he actually tried these.."
(Yep. Back when I was in Sea Explorer scouts, the Commodore, a war vet, cleaned out his storage shed and found some of those tins that had taken several cycles of heat and cold. We were treated to a fully dehydrated Hershey bar (not bad, a bit like armor-plated Astronaut Ice Cream) and a bag of chocolate pellets that had melted together to form an invincible, chocolate, Voltron-like ameoba.)
0:45 - Yappy "There is a DATE STAMP on the bottom of the can.."
 Ezra erghs.. "That does not say 1964, does it?"
 Yappy "It says: MARCH, of *1962*!"
(I tried keeping with the theme, since it seems you folks appreciate well-aged things. What with waiting until those Frookwich cookies I sent in were spoiled and all. *G*)
 Ezra "I'm not eating anything pre-Beattles!" Yappy "This is
   pre-Everybody In This House! Plus this canned water.. just
   doesn't doesn't sound right anymore o_O"
 Yappy rises to the challenge, the first part being how to open
   then tins without using a chainsaw. KP "Blackfoot probably
   had these, and pulled them out of like.. a nuclear fallout
   shelter!" Yappy "Yes, this was probably somebody who was like,
   'Oh My God! The Russians are gonna nuke America! I better stock
   up on food!"
(Actually, it was Ebay :) And the cans were kept in excellent condition as part of a naval club display.)
 Simba watch Yappy open the can of chronometric cuisine "We're
   opening something.. that.. was meant to be used.." Jess "32
   years ago."
(42, but who's counting?) [Ah... the very Meaning of Life itself!]
0:46 - KP "So for our 200th show, we're opening up food that's
 40 years old. This is possibly the only thing on this show
   that's older than the show itself."
 Simba "It's older than everybody here!" Rasvar "I need cake.."
 Devin "I wanna eat the chocolate!" KP "You can't have the
   chocolate. You get to eat the meat-product.."
0:47 - C-Rations. You see food, you eat it. People get plates.
 KP "Rasvar, are you gonna eat these rations?" Ras "No!" "Oh,
   you're eating cake.." Rasvar cackles.
 Bullet-proof can still won't open. Military folks carried key-
   chain opening tool? Yappy "C-Rations are no longer made,
   they're now replaced by MRE."
http://saratogatradingcompany.com/food___water.html
http://www.diggerhistory.info/pages-food/c-rations.htm
 KP "You could have sold then on Ebay!" Corty starts crying as
   Yappy opens the can.
0:48 - Yappy "Ok, we have Opened! Oh My God, look what we got here"
 Little bars of Hershey's Tropical Chocolate. Extinct chocolate?
 Closeup on Yappy, who's grinning widely. Ancient white-wrapper
   chocolate. Jess "That's hardly edible.." JR "OH! God, don't
   smell it!" KP "Oh, Nasty! They smell like rancid chocolate!"
 Pemmican cans. KP "What is pemmican?"
http://w4.lns.cornell.edu/~seb/pemmican.html (Buffalo!)
0:49 - Stagehand swings back of C-ration crackers.
 Malted milk pouch broke open, covered the rest of the can.
 Yappy "Oh man, that smells.. dusty!" laughs. KP "OH MAN! Keep it
   away from the good cake!"
 Harik bravely vows to sample the chocolate! Next can "Seedless
   raisins, peanuts, evaporated apples,
http://www.a1freesoundeffects.com/laserfire3.wav ".. dextrose,
   soy oil, homogenized shortening, vanilla extract and salt."
   People make gagging sounds. Yappy "And it comes with the key
   to opening it!"
0:50 - The chocolate revealed! Reading of ingredients, KP is
 impressed they listed Artificial Flavoring in 1962.
 Sunshine crackers! KP "Oh, I'm not eating that.." Yappy munches
   Devin "Oh God, he's eating it..
>Background Music<
http://www.ocremix.org/songs/Bubble_Bobble_NotaTrueEnding_Asphyxiation_OC_ReMix.mp3
info http://www.ocremix.org/detailmix.php?mixid=OCR00198
 Yappy chews, swallows "Hey, it's actually not stale?"
(I knew I should have gotten that 1945 can.. can you imagine,
eating the food that defeated Hitler?) [Eating? Yes. Surviving? No.
And you got sniped.] "Kinda.. ant tasting." "Try the chocolate."
 KP "The chocolate does not smell right.." Ras "Maybe you're
   supposed to make S'mores out of it?"
 Devin laughs! "Let's make S'mores!" KP "Lets go find some 40
   year old marshmallows!" Simba "I have some in the house.. I
   will go get them.." leaves
0:51 - Extra baking soda crackers. Clunky water? KP "I don't think
 the clunky water is clunky water anymore.. it's probably mutated
 into a new life form.. oh GOD these crackers have an aftertaste!"
 Yappy opens the Pemmican, advancing on the others, who retreat
   before it. Ras "UGHH!" KP "No, don't even get it near me!"
 Yappy "I don't even know if this is even edible.. this may not
   be right.." Simba "It's raisins! I looks great!"
 Yappy hands the tin to Simba. Simba "...I'll take it."
 Simba munches "Yea, tastes like nuts and raisins, and stuff."
0:52 - KP "Just ugly looking." Simba shows it to the camera "Lookit
   that.. nnyyAAAhh."
 KP reaches for a bag "These are the KP rations that came from
   Arby's this afternoon :P"
 Yappy crunches crackers, mmms "Malted milk.." bites one in half,
   then offers the rest to Simba "I don't know about this, this
   just smells wrong?"
 Harik "Chocolate's good." Some notes this food could have been
   on Lassie.
0:53 - KP peruses the chocolate "It's not the right texture, but
 it tastes like chocolate. It doesn't taste bad." Harik "It's got
   an aftertaste.." Devin "You're all eat'in it, oh My Gawd!"
 Aftertaste is natural after 42 years. KP "That's when this thing
   was packaged, these things could have been a few years old
   already!"
 Jess recalls seeing stuff like this in Cary Grant movies like
   Father Goose. "Ugh, that's gross.."
(That's for dissing Star Trek: Insurrection!) Devin "We are
 probably the only people our age who have ever eaten chocolate
 out of a package that looks like -this-" holds up white wrapper
 Hershey's Tropical "..everybody else is Dead, or, very old."
0:54 - Yappy opens the water, while someone moves a pitcher of
 lemonade out of the way. KP "That's my lemonade, don't let it
   get anywhere near that!"
 Water looks right, just missing a little. Yappy samples "Ugh,
   smells like tin!" Devin pitches "Who wants to drink water
   that's been sitting in a can for 42 years?!"
 Yappy samples, hmms "Hey! Just tastes like old tin, that's all!"
 Devin "God Bless you, US Government!"
0:55 - Yappy "We just had a baptism of water that's older than
 us!" Simba "(priestlike) The water that's been around.. the water
   that's been in and out of you.. you life is the same water,
   that's been around the Earth all the years.."
 Harik raises a glass "I am now going to put this back in the
   water supply.." raises. Simba "You are technically always
   drinking old water.."
 KP "Now we have to keep tabs on Yappy and Harik, if some really
   wierd disease starts up, and it hasn't been seen for 40 years..
 Simba "It's called: Ration Tin Disease." Rasvar "It'll be like
   those wierd Japanese mutations where they all of a sudden
   turn into these giant reptiles.."
 Yappy ponders eating another chocolate bar that KP wants to put
   on Ebay. "Mmm, yummy!" KP "I'll..stick to my Arby's.."
0:56 - Yappy offers a Sunshine cracker to Rasvar. Ras EWS!
 Yappy "They smell stale, but they're really.." Ras "They're the
   same ones who make Hydrox!" Yappy "These are like, pre-Hydrox."
 Yappy "I wonder how many people this was supposed to have fed."
   KP "Probably one or two." "And this was supposed to be
   nutritious? :P"
(Life boat rations are designed to simply keep folks alive as long as possible, so energy-dense high-calorie things like chocolate are the norm, and easier to pack. The idea is you'll be laying still on the boat conserving energy until someone can find you, so this gives you something to munch on day after day, week after week...
these are lifeboat rations, not normal C-rations, I spared no
expense to bring you the best :) )
 Pemmican looks like gelled chewing tobacco?
0:57 - Devin "The person.. who picked the fruit, that went into
 that.. is probably 90.."
 Rasvar uhohs.. "We are we gonna do with the 2nd can??"
http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/128325
 KP ohs "If we took out the cracker, this would all be Atkins
   friendly :)"
0:58 - Better than modern survival rations?
 KP "Now the scary thing is, Blackfoot is probably eating these
   on a regular basis just to save money."
(HELL no!) Yappy "They're not very tasty, and he didn't like them."
 KP "Yeah, that's why he sent us some!" (HELL yes!)
 Friend decides to pass on the fruit "That's not even gonna
   come off your hands dude.. have any white gas?"
 Destroying water after reclaiming it. Simba "You're not
   destroying water, you're just.. recycling it"
0:59 - Seeing if the garage disposal will accept the gunk.
 Yappy "Should we open the second can? :)" People suggest Ebay
 KP proposes making their own C-ration that others can open
   and cherish in 40 years! Twinkies, Krystals burgers nominated.
   Jack-in-the-Box taco sauce. The secret of the Deep Fried Twinky
 Deep friend Oreos?
1:00 - Oreos in pancake batter, covered in powder sugar. KP "The
 Oreo turns soft!" Simba "Of course it does.. it's soaked in
   oil now.. <EEKKK!.mp3> ..that's what I was thinking."
 Deep fried ice cream. When Healthy is not a consideration.
1:01 - <GoodVibrations.mp3> KP wonders if it's a Rasvar hiking song
 Doctor Poink searches for the Tardlet. <TardisGrind.mp3>
1:02 - Tardis gets tosses by stagehand, hitting Poink square in
 the nose. "OW!" too much accuracy in teleporting
 Ezra blinks "Oh no, Poink died!"
>Background Music<
http://www.clivebanks.co.uk/Dr Who Themes/S18.wav
info http://www.clivebanks.co.uk/Dr%20Who%20themes.htm
 Poink is regenerating? Raises up, all.. dark? Glowing redeyes o_O
 Poink "I'm feeling very evil.." Ezra "What may we call you?"
   Evil Poink "You may call me.. the Meister.."
1:03 - The Master returns. Jess "JR.. you rule!"
 Ezra "You need a shave.." Poink "And a haircut!" Rasvar "Well,
   at least it doesn't look like Shatner."
1:04 - Master Poink "Hey! I can go back to being Poink the lovable
 Jerk!" Pure evil eyes. Ezra "Just like advertised!"
1:05 - Evil plans. Poink "Turn down the lights!" Yappy argh,
 hands still smelling like malted milk.
 <DarkB/WScreen.mp3> Woah O_O Dark Shadows except for Poink's
   blood red eyebeam headlights. He ohs, and uses them on the
   stage.
1:06 - Rasvar "It's time for a video!"
---------
SPECIAL VIDEO FROM PAWPETS SOUTHWEST! Rasvar "Everybody needs to
 watch this." Yappy "And it's not 42 years old.."
 "The following video is dedicated ot the Funday Pawpet on its
   200th episode. Way to go, guys!"
http://tails.4mg.com/ppsw/RightNow.rm
info http://tails.4mg.com/ppsw/
Song: "Right Now", from Van Halen
 "Right now, the Pawpeteers are taking a break.." smoking puppets
 "Right now, Herbie is working tirelessly for his new employers."
 "Right now, Poink is looking at Ferret Porn."
 "Right now, Bambi is seducing Poink with her live Voop porn."
 A day in the life. "Right now, Poink is following Bambi to her
   room for some action."
>Background Music<
http://www.ocremix.org/songs/Bubble_Bobble_Hillbilly_Rodeo_OC_ReMix.mp3
info http://www.ocremix.org/detailmix.php?mixid=OCR00015
 "Right now, Harik and Raini are playing with the 'Elitist Baby'
    Cordillia."
 Groove begins "Right now, Raini and Harik are changing "Elitist
   Baby"'s diaper."
 Yappy poots. Bandit chews. KP runs after Bandit. Someone in the
   audience works on their Art Jam picture.
 "Someone in the audience is thinking about Lynx's
   pandas." And Roxi's.
 Pepsi Clear? "Right now, someone in the audience is criticizing
   this video to death."
(*Innocent humming*) Skippy oohs. Temp resumes. Tod invents.
 Nerd nerds. Rummage rummages. Ne'er is glad he's back in CA.
 Pawpetters plan. <WierdFocus.fx> "Right now Rasvar is looking
   for the right sound effects."
 <5secondsofPureStatic.RAS-VAR> "Right now, Bitchvoop is screaming
   at Rasvar for messing up this video."
 Rasvar swears innocence. Seal gets him for swearing.
 Poink smokes. Bambi smiles. Inflatable sheep deflates (o_O)(O_O)
 "Right now, this video is ending."
CREDITS - "Right Now" Van Halen
 Brandon & Veronica - Hitomi    Terror - Kaiser
----------
1:12 - <SamKennisonYell.mp3> x 3
http://www.the-earchives.com/wavs/c/celeb001.wav "POINK!"
<SamKennisonYell.mp3> Poink "YES!"
<SamKennisonYell.mp3> "That's the stench.."
<SamKennisonYell.mp3> "Of pure EVIL!"
 Jess "We're going to call you Malted Milk!" Tod "We're going to
   call you *Stinkmeister*!"
 Scent lingers. Tod swears! "That poot had LEGS!" Ras cackles.
1:13 - Jess waves her arms from far away in the kitchen "Right here
   I can SMELL THIS!"
 Tod moans "It won't go away back here!"
http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/190538 KP "Oh yuck.."
1:14 - Plans to wire Poink's head to the brake lights of a car.
<ANDWHATTHEHELLISTHATSMELL?!.mp3> Tod "I know what it is.. oh nasty
 TODAY'S CAPTION PHOTO: Rasvar "Where'd it go.. oh there it is."
http://pawpet.org/funday/art/2004-02-29/caption.jpg
GUY EJECTING FROM PLANE DURING AIRSHOW ACCIDENT. LOTS OF FLAMES.
1:15 - Tod"It looks like Poink pooting, its just a big smoke cloud!
1:16 - Rich caption material. Tod "Everything goes boom.."
http://pawpet.org/funday/art/2002-09-22/Ferret%20bubble.jpg
 <HappyFairyFluteMusic.mp3> Games people play. Devin does bingo,
    Poink loses at strip poker?
1:17 - People want the wisdom of Crappy. Nerd "Crawppy don't know
  nuthin!"
 Summoning crappy. Poink "I'm so evil, I'm going to make Crappy
   scream."
 Rasvar "In honor of 200, some old crappy animations I've done.."
<Tuminator.mp3> <GreenScreenExplodes.fx> <TUMINATOR.redtext>
 Rummage ohs "We can do that!" Rasvar ohs? "Ok, lets do Tuminator!
1:18 - TUMINATOR. Searching for the gift of Evil
 Crappy hellos! Poink "Hello small dog.." "Hi?"
 Poink leans in "Burn this image in your mind.." Crappy ers "What
   can I do for ya? o_o"
 <LoveableOldies.mp3> "Rasvar.. as a PINK Power Ranger.." Crappy
   aghs! Ohs "There's more to it?" "Yes there is.. Rasvar in
   spandex!"
1:19 - Crappy shrinks inwardly. "Eeeeh... .. .  AHHHHH!" runs!
 <TUMINATOR.fxgallore>
 <DADADADADADDDAAAAADAAAADAAA!.mp3> Yappy "That is Really loud o_O
1:20 - Poink "Can *I* name the tuminator?" Rummage "No. It's
  Oldie." "Trash-digger."
 Crappy "How old was it?" "About as old as that Pemmican."
 Someone in channel asks what's scary about Ras in spandex? Ras
   "Think about THIS in spandex!" Crappy "WOW! A whole feel of
   view!" Tod "I didn't know there was suppose to be a full moon
   tonight.."
http://www.b-unique.net/memorylanewavs1/6/teeninlove.wav
info http://www.b-unique.net/music/memorylane/jukebox3/index.htm
1:21 - <Tuminator1.mp3> Oldie. Wa Oohing. "Each night I ask the
  stars up above.. why must I be, a teenager in love?.."
1:22 - WildBill guesses The Belmonts "Teenager in Love."
 Ras oks "So what do we get to listen to in its entirety now?"
 Rummage "Abraham Martin & John." Poink "Ohh no... that's even
   too evil for me.."
http://www.b-unique.net/memorylanewavs1/6/abraham_martin_and_john.wav
info http://www.b-unique.net/music/memorylane/jukebox3/index.htm
1:23 - Sad tune turns into a groove. Rummage "Anybody here.. seen
 my old friend John.. can you tell me where he's gone? He freed
   a lot of people, but it seems good, they die young.. I just
   looked around and he's gone.."
1:25 - Rummage solos, Crappy moshes?
 Rummage "That was also a tribute, to the last day of February,
   Black History Month. To Martin Luther King who was mentioned
   in that song."
1:26 - Rasvar "That ranks up there with one of your most painful
 Tuminators ever." Tod "I liked that song!"
CALLIN- "Gentleman, ladies, Pawpet friends, good evening."
 Tod "Hey, who is this, Mr. Uncle Kage? :)" "It *might* be.."
>Background Music<
http://www.barbneal.com/wav/tvthemes/ateam.wav
info http://www.barbneal.com/tvthemes.asp
 People hello! Rummage "Did you like the Dion song I just played?"
   Kage "I did like the song, because that goes back to my era.:)"
 Tod "What about the rations that we had?" Kage "Actually yes,
   you did have C-rations older than me, and, I don't know if you
   guys look in channel, when I was saying 'I don't recommend you
   eat this stuff!'.."
1:27 - Rasvar "Can it be as bad as eating Durian? :P" "Durian
  -tastes- bad.. but it won't -kill- you.."
(I tried some, and I turned out fine ^_^) "There are food-additives
   in this stuff that we have long-since BANNED.." (o_O)
 Rummage notes he only tried a bit? Kage "Rummage, raccoons can
   eat Anything, you're not really a good test-case. I'm mostly
   worried about the other fellas."
 Rummage "The crackers just had shortening in them, but who knows
   what kind of shortening they used back in the 1960s."
   Crappy cools! "I'm starting to feel Wierd!"
1:28 - The water? "Water does go bad you know.. I hope they didn't
   solder than can with, you know.. LEAD.."
(O_o) "Do you fellas know the story of the Franklin expedition?"
  "No.." Kage grins "Let me tell you a story.."
>Background Music<
http://www.ocremix.org/songs/Donkey_Kong_Country_BeneaththeSurface_OC_ReMix.mp3
info http://www.ocremix.org/detailmix.php?mixid=OCR01242
 "Eightteen Forty-Seven.." Poink "Were you there?" "I was!"
 Kage "An expedition lead by Commodoore John Franklin to find
   the Northwest Passage." (A way to sail directly from the
   East Coast to the West by going up and through Canada, instead
   of down over Panama, or South America. Can't do it without an
   Icebreaker, but folks didn't know that then.)
 Kage "They sailed north through Canada, and then history gets a
   little bit muddled, they started sailing around in Circles..
   and eventually their ship got mired in the ice. So, they had
   a choice: They could either trek overland across the ice
   north about 35 miles to a well-stocked whaling station, or
   they could trek *1,000* miles south across the empty
   wilderness!"
1:29 - They take the southern route. "Dragging with them 2
   longboats packed full of prayerbooks, curtin rods, and a
   writing desk.. but no actual food or provisions."
 Tod "That's kinda.. not smart." Kage "Well, no, as they had
   discovered, each gentleman had been eating -food- that had
   been -Canned- in cans that were soldered in *LEAD*. And the
   bodies that they found had very very high lead levels, which
   essentially made them -Mad- as -Hatters-!"
 Rummage "I thought Mad Hatters Disease was because of Mercury?"
   Kage nods "But Mercury is a heavy metal similar to Lead. It
   sticks in your body and basically trips out in your brain and
   makes you an idiot."
(Do they make puppets out of Hat material?) Poink "Like Eisner."
 Kage "Essentially yes! Eisner is suffering from Heavy Metal
   Poisioning!"
http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view.php?id=143965 (R3,C5 Cyrax)
[You DID listen to that STYX song a lot..] (*gurgle*)
1:30 - Rummage wonders about his 3ounce vial of Mercury? Kages
 notes Mercury does have a vapor pressure, best keep it sealed
   and out of the air..
 Rummage "Well, that's where I put all my broken thermostats."
   Kage "Oh Jesus.." suggests going to the next Household
   Hazardous Waste Day. "You really don't want that around your
   house." Rum "But it's so fun to plawy with! ^_^" "This could
   explain a lot.."
 Rummage "I can remember as a kid, I would boil the stuff!"
   Kage "That -really- explains a lot!" "Little Mercury balls
   started flying everywhere! Little balls make bigger balls,
   and.." "Hey, rating, rating."
 Rasvar "And now you know.. the Rest of the Story.."
1:31 - Looking up the MSDS hazmat sheet about Mercury. "Long term
   exposure.. Mania.." people nod "Disorientation.." Tod "Oh boy!"
   "Flatulence!.." Cheering! Wows!
 Rummage "What about playing with Puppets?" Ras "I think that
   falls under Mania." Kage "Kidney damage, liver damage..
   Cancer! Really?.." Ras "Kidney Stones?"
 Kage reads "Impotence?" Rummage/Yappy "I don't have that problem"
1:32 - Kage ers "Moving right along.." Tod "I don't wanna know!"
 Hazmats. Rummage "They didn't exist when I was in gradeschool."
 Kage "Well, back in those days is when they packaged Bad Food!
   Those C-Rations go back to a day when children played with
   Mercury! And Red M&Ms were REAL red M&Ms, not the phoney ones
   you have today!"
 Rummage nods "And they painted their walls with lead."
   "Exactly." "And they coated their boilers with asbestos."
   "Exactly!"
1:33 - Tod ohs "Fiesta wear! They used to have uranium in the red
   dye!" Beautiful flashing lights.
 Kage "Uranium glassware.. uranium drapes.. radium watches,
   asbestos everything.." [And they still needed drugs?]
 Rummage wonders if WTC had asbestos in it. Yep. Kage "It was a
   major concern, but what the hell ya gonna do?
 Kage notes asbestos danger is very overblown though.
 Tod says Rummage smoked Asbestos? Huh? Harik "It's your
   cigarette filter!"
1:34 - Rummage recalls Asbestos articles in school, about how good
   and fire-proof it as. "And at the very end of the article they
   were talking about disposing of Asbestos, and that they take
   it off to be.. burned."
 Flame retardant. Makes fires more stupid.
 Dark Meiser Poink "By the way.. am I speaking to Doctor Samuel
   Conway..?" Kage "You might be." "Aye, former colleage." "I know
   that voice.."
1:35 - The Doctor and the Meister meet again.
  Poink "Yes... it's me." Kage "YOU!!..." "Yes." "You're BACK!"
    "yes." "I thought you had Died!!" ".....No."
http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/186249 "Evil never diesss.."
  Kage "Yes I know, which is what's wrong with Disney o_O"
  Flatulence. Dark Poink "That is one of my side projects, yess..
  Kage "So it's YOU, Mr. Eisner!" "Yess..(blinks) I'm afraid so:/"
    "And Next.. we're going to do an animated version of.. the
    Hitchkider's Guide to the Galaxy.."
http://hitchhikers.movies.go.com/
[ "DON'T PANIC!(tm) The most Astonishing adventure in the universe
  begins after the world ends!" ] (The End must be near..)
  Kage oohs.. "That might be kind of fun." "It's going to star
    Ice-T." "NO!" Tod "wow." "No.."
1:36 - Kage plans to visit Pawpets Megaplex, spares no words
  speaking well of it. "There will be puppeteers! There will
    be costumers! There will be.. uh.. ME!.."
http://www.ppmp.info/
 Guest of Honor, Trace Beaulieu, from Mystery Science Theater!
 Kage "And you do not realize, too, that Trace was -not only-
   Dr. Forrester, he was -also- the puppeteer and voice of Crow
   T. Robot!"
http://www.csnmail.net/~weissfre/ohsweeti.wav
http://www.zianet.com/area51/mst3k/410/deep_hurting.wav
  Toxic Audio! Kage goes into car salesman mode!
1:37 - Tod tells folks he has Top Secret info he got from Toxic
  Audio about the performance, but can't say what it is?
http://www.csnmail.net/~weissfre/wereevil.wav
  Tod "If you're not attending Megaplex, and don't see them
    there, um, um, it may be a while before you see them again."
  Magic at the Con, Aces Wild. Lots of interesting folks.
1:38 - Mascot Games, NFL folks there. Kage "You make me wish I
  had a fursuit! -I'm gonna have to wake up the unknown furry
  again..-"
http://www.csnmail.net/~weissfre/gumby.wav
  People have difference pieces of a suit?
1:39 - Con details, registration. High demand.
1:40 - Kage's parents are coming! Best behavior.
  Tod cools! "Glad you're coming Kage!" "Oh, I wouldn't miss it
    for the world. I -adore- the Funday Pawpet Show, and you
    guys put on wish a Damn Fine show down there.."
  Rummage "Except when Poink goes off his rocker."
1:41 - New Poink vs New Poink vs Newer Poink! The Many Faces of
  Doctor Poink. Kage "This is the Ultra-EVIL Poink!" Tod leans
    over the stage "He's evil Incarnate!" Poink o_o
  Tod "Poink, what are we going to do with you, now that you're
    Ultra-Evil?" Poink "I'm going to run Teletubbies."
http://pbskids.org/teletubbies/animals.html
  Kage "See? Him and Eisner are looking to beat each other up."
http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/109323 Tod "Ew, sick"
1:42 - Kage wows at 200th show. First thing he said on the show?
  First words: Mutt plays with a Kage puppet. Kage "Get your hand
    out of there!"  Rebelsquirrel gets it right!
  Rummage wows "You know there are geeks in this show, that are
    worse than the geeks who are running it?"
http://www.jmanx.com/files/wav/warcraft/Who%20wants%20to%20sing.wav
1:43 - Rummage wows. "I couldn't remember a show back if I tried."
  Tod "I can't remember -last- time we did the show!"
http://pawpet.org/funday/art/2004-02-08/1_NC_artjam_2.jpg
  Rummage "It all sort of blends together, you get so many cases
    of Deja Vu, it's really wierd."
  Master Poink and Doctor Kage banter. Tombstone text comes up.
  Rummage thinks if Anthrocon beats its fundraising goals again,
    they could have a Tomestone engraved for him and put into
    storage for later, another lost bet. KageT "I ain't doing that
    again, I already lost my hair.."
1:44 - Ferret shaving rematch planned?
  2nd thing Kage did on the show. Stranged Arthur?
  Kage "There is something that I wish I could get you folks for
    Spits or Swallows, but I do not have access to it.."
http://www.cnn.com/2004/HEALTH/01/16/brain.sandwich.ap/ (Not really
  Only found in Canada?
1:45 - Kage had friend at whale research center in Newfoundland.
  US supermarkets have tuna as most of the canned meat. Up in
    Newfoundland, its not tuna.. it's SEAL meat? o_O
1:46 - [Use Ebay!] Tod orks! Kage recalls buying seal meet for a
  friend who had never seen it before.
1:47 - Feels like beef, looks like tuna. "And if you're seen the
  story of the whale on my webpage.. {Elvis} www.unclekage.com.."
http://www.unclekage.com/whale.html
info http://www.unclekage.com/storymain.html
info info www.unclekage.com
wierd http://www.unclekage.com/rlpics/wantedkageth.gif
  ".. you may recall that dead sea mammals smell very similar to
    a combination of dead fish and dead mammal." Tod "K."
  Seal meet vs Durian. "We eat attemped to eat a small little
    forkfull of seal meat.."
http://www.csnmail.net/~weissfre/cowtippi.wav
  Eat the cat wouldn't eat it. Dark Poink "You forgot the manetee
    dipping sauce."
1:48 - Kage explains how the Canadians had to thin the manetee
  herds that were invading the inland plains "They were like
    locuts!"
http://www.csnmail.net/~weissfre/gamera.wav Tod "Hmmm.."
1:49 - Kage departs, shares congradulations, dares.
  <MoreOldies.mp3> Vixen falls for Tod. Tod o_o
1:50 - Poink starts filking the song. Tod "No.." ducks
1:51 - <WhereTheBoysAre.mp3> Poink looks up atta Voop "Do you know
  -why- he's waiting where the Boys Are? For you to stop singing."
1:52 - Bambi "Wheerrreeee...the Boys Areeee.." Poink "The boys are
    staying at the YMCA. Which means they aren't looking for you."
  Bambi starts repeating "What? What? What?" Simba "Heeyyy.."
  <BOOM.mp3> <InterjectionEEK!.mp3> Rasvar "ROLL CALL!"
1:53 - Jess wows "Would you believe we have 99 people in channel?"
http://www.zianet.com/area51/mst3k/410/the_button.wav
  Poink starts singing "99 people in channel" to the tune of 99
    bottles of beer.
1:54 - <MexicanHatDance.mp3> Jess juggles ever-changing names.
1:55 - Gauntlet of 99! "And that's it guys!"
  Devin dances in front of the camera.
  Rasvar ers.. "I do have to point out one thing.."
  <KitchenCam.fx> Ras "Look at this MESS!!"
 
*********** END OF PART ONE ***************
 
***** MORE TO COME, BUT UNTIL THEN: *******
http://www.zianet.com/area51/mst3k/410/pants.wav
 

Feedback: Should I use take out the *warning* link at 0:25?