SHOW #273 - CHRISTMAS 2005                                              

Eaglebeagle and Recheri visit 0:06
Liesl returns from Germany with loaded chocolates 0:27
"Wizards in Winter" Christmas Light FX show and friends 1:39
Rasvar survives a close brush with death on the road, swears on the cell phone 2:05
A Rudolph parody that even fries Poink's Brain 2:21
White Elephants and Feminine Hygene Products 3:03
12 Pains of Christmas. Puppet furpile 3:50

Funday Pawpet Show #273 - Christmas 2005 - Timeline
Pawpets on Wikipedia?
******** START OF CHRISTMAS SHOW! *************
0:00 - <ThatGoofyPawpetGroove.mp3> Parade of opening clips.
0:02 - Talking sheepdog robot sings Homer Simpson singing "Deck the Halls"
0:03 - "Troll the ancient yuletide carol.. bwarwarawarwarooOOO.." dog falls behind the stage. Laughs!
  Yappy "He had a bit too much eggnog I think :P"
  Homer Dog sings "Oooooh Christmas Tree." Weirdly.
0:04 - Ezra pops up, fitting right in next to the other sheepdog "Welcome everyone, it's the Christmas version of the Funday Pawpet Show this week!"
    LieslFox "It's Christmastime in Hell.." "No, it's Christmastime here!"
0:05 - Ezra "Christmas wouldn't be Christmas without one thing.."
  <VenturesHawaiianMusic.mp3> "I was thinking.. Arthur!"
  Arthur's here! He's back! Eggnod made him think he was in another state?
0:06 - List of visiting folks, EagleBeagle, Recheri. Rasvar and Herbier later.
0:07 - LieslVixen can't see in a Santahat. List up upcoming events.
  White Elephant! Arthur "I thought we did that last night?" Yappy "I'll dig up
    something around the house.."
0:08 - Thinks not to leave at a friend's house after a party
  Liesl is back! EagleBeagle on rollcall. Arthur "There are people watching us?"
  Liesl "Always. People are always watching us."
  Yappy is at the Controlls. Ras is sleeping it off?
0:09 - Multi-Holiday Greetings. LieslFox "Happy Christmahhanikwaniza."
  Ezra "Christmahhanikwanzica?" "Christmahanikwanzica." "Where's Decemberween?"
0:10 - 12 Days of Christmas. Day One: A Beer.
Lyrics: http://www.twin-music.com/lyrics_file/christmas/humor/12a.html
  Recheri arrives, with sugar!
0:11 - <JulioEglesias-JelizNavidad.mp3>
  Poink grooves, wearing a Greek tinsel headwreath. HomerDog sleeps.
0:13 - Ezra and Crappy do "Fleas on my dog."
0:14 - A Crappy Christmas! "What did you do?" Universial Studios "A saw Santa Claus."
  Crappy "I've been a BAD puppy this year.." People earperk?
(Art Jam Archive for today: http://pawpet.tv/art/2005-12-18/ )
0:16 - The War On Christmas Aftermath: People are sick of Political Correctness
  geeks. Happy Holidays.
0:17 - JessFox wonders what people are worked up about. Grrrs.
  Ezra "But you know what? I can wish people whatever holiday I want to!"
  LieslFox "Happy Arbor Day! Go plant a tree." Crappy "Happy Milkbone day!"
  <SoothingBackGroundMusic.mp3> LieslFox "What are we listening to?
0:18 - JR arrives, saves folks from elevator music!
  Strongbad says.. 'Use your powers for good, or use them for Awesome!'
0:19 - <DogsBarkingJingleBells.mp3> Jam session.
  HomerDog is still ignoring everyone, resting in center stage with his chin up.
0:20 - Poink arrives. And Liesl's back from Germany.
0:21 - German Christmas Traditions? Poink "We're going to have.. Slather the
  Weasel with Marshmellow Cream by the Voop!" LieslFox just laughs.
  Ezra "Wow." LieslFox "Alright.. I'll subject myself to this.. if it's just
    once a year!" Poink wows! Ezra "That's actually for my hot chocolate.."
  Ezra tries to get Bandit riled up. Bandit attacks the stage, knocking stuff
0:22 - Yappy "I think this video sums up the Ferret/Voop thing.."
  Quick Flash animation that's a takeoff on Mrs Pacman, with PacPoink being
    chased by Officer Ezra, and Bambi (or whatever Poink's girlfriend is currently
    named) being chased by Officer Seal. Just when they're about to get caught,
    they bump into each other! Brian Reynolds strikes again!
  Multi-That's-Awesomes! Ezra "Let's do it again!" Crappy "Again?"
  Quick Flash animation that's a takeoff on Mrs Pacman, with PacPoink being
    chased by Officer Ezra, and Bambi (or whatever Poink's girlfriend is currently
    named) being chased by Officer Seal. Just when they're about to get caught,
    they bump into each other! Brian Reynolds strikes again!
  LieslFox cools! Wants Frogger with Java?
0:23 - Java "Hey! I'm Great! ^_^" Ezra hellos "What have you been up to?"
   Java ...... ..... ..... "Nothing!" "Nothing?" "Nothing you need to know about
   Pitch for Vanity Frog.
0:24 - Stagehands are joined by Stagefeet?
  LieslVoop eyes Poink "Do you have a foot fetish?" "Yes, I have a voop fetish
    too!" Poink nibbles her, she arghs.
0:25 - Welcoming Liesl back after a month. Ezra whispers "Whatdidyoubringsus?"
  Feffernoose..? Java wants it!
0:26 - Laidpooken.. Nurenburg gingerbread? "How do folks ASK for this stuff?"
  Mozart Chocolates, next year is his 250th's birthday?
  The Big Gulp, not an inport!
0:27 - Rum cocos... 150 proof?? Chocolate doom! Java wants them!
  Glue Vine? Whatsit?
0:28 - Poink didn't know Yappy was part German? "I'm half-german. I got dilluted."
  LieslVoop "Germans have two hobbies.. eating.." Poink "And drinking!"
  Yappy talks about Octoberfest. Vinegar and bacon potatoe salad?
  Liesl talks about going into Sausage Shock after ever meal.
info http://www.fluffandsuch.com/what.shtml
0:32 - Crappy sings "I farted on Santa's lap.." Yappy "Crappy!" "What?" "Why
  did you do that?" "...?"
0:33 - People muching chocolate. Crappy has some even though it's bad for dogs.
  The Temptation of the Rum Balls. Giggling offstage.
0:34 - Ezra goes into Feffernose pounces. Crappy "That's what the Holidays are
    all about!"
  Eating bad food with good people.
0:35 - <JingleHouseRock.mp3>
0:37 - Mystery chocolate. Like mystery meat, but MUCH better..
  Christmas Punch, better than Nyquil?
0:38 - Yappy "I gotta move to Germany.. Americans don't know how to make
  chocolate :)"
0:39 - People feel dazed after the chocolates. Liesl has a resistance after a lot of it overseas. Poink hmms "I don't feel anything.." then woos...
0:40 - <DoctorDemento-ISawDaddyKissingSantaClaus.mp3>
0:42 - "Then much to my surprise... It wasn't Santa after all but Mommy in
    disguise!" kid is relieved. Crappy "I need a rest after that.."
  Todferret tells Poink he's being naught. Poink "By the way.. my eyes aren't
    the only thing that glows.." holds up a bright red pen from below.
    Tod thinks about it "Get that away!!" Seal ORKS!
0:43 - LightThinger duels. LieslFox "I see your Swartz is as big as mine.."
  Poink "I put you in.. Griffindor!" JessFox "Ok, this is just perverted.."
  Poink licks his pen. Tod "Will you stop!?"
  Bandit like the pen! "You're really having a Merry Christmas, aren't you?"
0:44 - Yaegermeister, Nyquill, and you. Poink thinks Colonel Sanders was drinking
    it when he made the recipie.
0:45 - <SantaBaby.mp3> LieslFox sings as Poink steals her Santahat.
  LieslFox woos Poink while asking him for a Platinum Mine. Poink swoons.
    Crappy hops around with a Santa beard bigger than he is.
0:48 - <SongEnds.mp3> LieslFox looks up to Crappy "No more chocolates for you!"
    Poink "I'm seeing purple peckers! @_@"
0:49 - Kitchen Cam: Recheri prepares the eggnog. "Whip it! Whip it good!"
0:50 - Eaglebeagle waves from the portable computer, brandishes the Big Gulp.
0:51 - Recheri adds stuff. Liesl oohs "Powdered cocain!" Recheri holds the
  box of Vanilla up to the camera. Madagascar vanilla?
0:52 - Cooking with Recheri. Yappy "Who can take a whole shot of Vanilla
  The Secret Ingredient.. a big ass bottle of Rum, larger than the bowl.
0:53 - Defining how large a *swig* is. Liberal views.
0:54 - KP gets The First Taste, straps into his chair.
  Liesl "He's drinking more.. he's drinking the Whole Thing :)"
  KP yums "This is Excellent!"
0:55 - Rum changes Crappy into Barry White?
0:56 - Yumming and munching. Nibbling straws? Bandit's licking the straw? o_O
0:57 - Egg Merange? Poink "I was looking at it and thinking.. Burma Shave?"
  Poink worries about shaving. People reassure him.
0:58 - Liesl "Bandit! I'm not playing Crotch-Ball with you tonight!" Hyper Bandit
  Poink is sitting on Jess's head?
  People are having a *lot* of fun.
0:59 - Poink "Damn, those people put alchohol in everything! Crotchball.."
  Yappy goes for seconds. Poink "Lets get him drunk and take him to the nudie bar!
    Crappy looks at Poink "You're cut off!"
1:00 - <ElvisPresly-BlueChristmas.mp3> HomerDog is still oblivious.
1:02 - Poink "Thankyu! Thankyuverrymuch! Bitch, go fetch me a peanutbutternNano sandwich. With bacon fat!" thinks "When did Elvis sound like Barry White? We
  commemorate this show to Elvis, who died on the crapper."
1:03 - <"Lord Almightly, I feel my temperature Risin'">
   Yappy is helpful "I do have a fold-away couch for when you get blitzed on
1:04 - Poink "Rootin, Tootin, Fresh and Pootin'"
  <WalkingRoundInWomen'sUnderware.mp3> (ie, Walking In a Winter Wonderland)
  Skippy sings! "Latter on.. if you wanna.. we can dress.. like Madona."
1:06 - Poink tries on some fake boobs? Bandit goes for Liesl? "He's like.. love
    me, love my please!"
1:07 - Eggnog inventory. Arthur "I'm working on my second cup."
  A Carrot Christmas. Liesl starts singing Christmastime in Hell again. "Set him
    on fire.."
1:08 - Banana Rum Republic?
midi http://www.links2love.com/music/alliwnt.mid
1:10 - Cthuhlu Carrot rocks out to Christmas Kazoo Choir. HomerDog ignores him.
1:11 - <TheEnd.mp3> Poink "Give me the ranch dressing."
  Manna Manna with Poink and Carrot.
  Blueberry! Poink "Hi Pecker! That's something I say every day.."
1:12 - HomerDog looks like Crappy? Crappy "That's not me.."
  Blueberry "That's Mutt.. he's terrified!" HomerDog sits there.
1:13 - Random disjointed singing.
  PoinkHippo does Mortal Kombat with Blueberry. Then they dance to Hippotunes.
1:16 - Poink "I'ma Hungry Hungry Hippo."
  Someone asks for a Corvette, and gets a model for Christmas. Happy Holidays.
1:17 - Drinking responsibly. Poink "I'm responbile too, I'm wearing a condom!"
  Liesl "I wanna go home.." Poink "I'll flatten your tires!"
  Crappy notes flattening tires is easy. Poink licks Lampchop "DON'T. LICK. ME."
1:18 - Poink "Why don't you like me?" Lampchop "........ ..... I forgot."
  JR accidently elbowsmashes Liesl. "I'm not gonna sit by the front of the stage
1:19 - Liesl ohboys "I'm ok. .. Who are you?" Poink "That's good enough for me!"
  Giant monkey poses with HomerDog, who ignores him.
1:20 - Trying to get the monkey to turn on his mike. <FunkyMonkeyMusic.mp3>
  Yappy "Hey that monkey has no arms or legs!" Monkey "I'm paramonkey. Just have
    one big leg down here."
1:21 - Betting on The First Fart of the Show. Yappy bets JR. Monkey "Will it be
    Officer Bob Brady?"
1:22 - Passing the time. Poink "I will now perform a trick! Bandit will French
   Kiss me!" Monkey finds Darth Vader's arm behind the stage.
  Eaglebeagle rollcalls! "84 people in channel!"
  Lots of folks "BlackfootAfk..." (I'm spacy, what can I say.)
1:25 - "Horray!"
  Catching Simba standing up behind stage. Poink "Simba tit!" <DartStrike.mp3>
1:26 - THXMonkeys? Monkey Mouse? "MUC..KEY.."
  Liesl "My name can substitiuted for that song. M-I-C,-K-E-Y L-I-E-S-L"
  Poink does the song "She's sweet... she's got nice feet.." goes there.
    "M-I-C-K-E-Y She's-gonna-kick-my-ass.."
1:27 - Benefits of working for Disney. A little bit of everything?
  Poink "I put the X in Christmas baby!" Yappy calls for more eggnog.
  Poink's prehensile tongue. "That's MiniRandy.." "Let's have a tongue-off!"
  Mini does the Jean Simmons thing.
1:28 - "He picked up the hat with his tongue!"
1:29 - Armless Legless Monkey speaks. "Knees up Mother Brown.."
  Java "Friends call me Snowmiser.. whatever I tought.. turns to snow in my
    cluth.. I'm too much!"
1:31 - <ThatHawaiianPhraseThatMeans"MerryChristas".mp3> Hella Kaliko Much.. gah.
1:34 - Poink gives a public service annoucement. Introduces the Sexual Harasment
  Panda. "Don't do drugs."
  <NowICan'tSitWithComfortAndJoy.mp3> "The restroom door said 'Gentlemen' and
    I would like to find.. the crummy little creep who had the nerve to switch
    the Sign.."
1:36 - A Western Cowboy Christmas.
1:38 - Extreme High-speed Yodeling.
1:39 - VIDEO: The Second Christmas-Light House program "Jingle Bells"
1:41 - Barbra Striesand singing? LieslFox "Her legs look like budda."
1:42 - VIDEO: The Christmas-Light House presents: "Wizards of Winter" by the
    Trans-Siberian Orchestra!
info http://www.snopes.com/photos/arts/xmaslights.asp
1:45 - Yappy explains it's a 24-channel ZMX controller or something, very simple
  for folks with an electronic brain.
1:46 - LieslFox recalls how a waiter bent her credit card. "Oh, you met Frankie!"
  Not Rainforest Cafe. Poink offers something else for him to bend.
1:47 - Liesl "James, who works a the Chevy's, on highway 50? I hate you!"
1:48 - VIDEO: The Christmas-Light House legacy continues, with copycats.
1:49 - <FelizNavidad.avi> Semi-cool rotating tree effect.
1:51 - More lights.. but less creative use of them.
1:52 - Poink "Police beat me up.." Yappy thinks copycats should get together
  and take over a block. Poink wants to do Dueling Banjos.
1:53 - Poink and Leisl do synchronized Dinging. No, really.
1:54 - VIDEO: Copycat Christmas-Light House #2 Feliz Navidad again.
  "I wanna wish you a Merry Christmas.. from the bottom.. of my heart!"
  [Isn't that were the refuse is?] (It's an expression.)
1:55 - VIDEO: Copycat Christmas-Light House #3 - Carol of the Bells.
  People Ding-Dong it in real time. Poink thinks of lyrics. Siezure lights.
1:56 - Lots of "Ding Dong.. Mkay"s
1:57 - FLUFF AND SUCH round 2: BURGER KING KAGE!? "*DING* fries are done.."
original http://www.spikedhumor.com/articles/8963/Burger_King_Christmas_Carol.html
1:59 - Rum-filled chocolate S'mores? Poink gets an evil idea.
2:00 - Rasvar arrives! Talks about 2 beers before the game?
  JR claims the First Fart of the show "Gimmee a hug!"
2:02 - One of the background singer says "Doom" repeatedly instead of "Doo"
2:05 - Rasvar "Ok folks, I'm just curious.. what did Poink say about the phone
  call?" "He didn't say anything.." Rasvar arghs?
2:06 - Something happened to Rasvar on the way?
  Kitchencam. "Somebody just farted." "We're all eating."
  HomerDog sings! Rasvar "What the heck was that?"
  HomerDog sings "Oooooh Khristmas Trwe." Rasvar "My God, this tree sounds like
2:07 - Extreme closeup on Liesl and KP eating.
2:08 - JR scratching his butt.
2:10 - Rasvar asks JR to explain the phone call? JR "It sounded like being in
  HELL.  Should I tell them Everything?" Rasvar "Yes, I wanna hear from your side
  Rasvar returns from Jacksonville Jaguars game, after having a few. Calls
    JR. JR "'I'mmm DruNK!'.. that would be my first guess, yeah. 'weeLL I'm Weally
    DrunK! I've had 2 of these!'.. like I can see what he's doing through the
  Stagehand holds up a 2 gallon pitcher. JR nods "2 of these, these are basically
    my urine-cups, ok?"
2:11 - Rasvar calls JR over and over "Hello!?" "It's still me." "Ok!"
  Ras is hammered. One hour later "Hellooo.. still drunk!"
  JR "So I had another call, and cut him off, and he calls back *again* 'hellOo! I
    am SO DRUNK!' You're not drivin, are ya? 'NOoo! We got one poor bastard
    sitting up and..'" JR arghs "-I'm gonna kill'm..- 'We're ALL just drunk! Turn
    *that* way Bobbie!' and then ten minutes of "OHMYGOD,OHMYF'INGOD,OHMYGOD.."
2:12 - JR "It sounds like dissection 911 over the phone.." Ras takes the mike.
  Rasvar "Alright.. alright alright arlight.." JR "He can't even walk!" "Yes I
    can.. ok.. yes, I had plenty to drink at the game, because I was not driving"
  Rasvar "What are you doing?" Drops-his-pant-doll Moonie moons the camera "Ok"
2:13 - Pickup truck tries to veer to avoid red mustang.. back end veer..
  Ras "Next thing we know.. we're going down I4..backwards..at 70mph.."
2:14 - JR "This is where I started hearing the S-bombs start to drop.." "YES!"
  Rasvar-peed-himself Cam. Ras isn't phased by it right now. "I though we'd have
    ourselves wrapped around a tree very quickly.."
  "Fornutely.. by some miracle.. our driver manages to get turned back around"
2:15 - JR recalls high-fiving white guys over the phone. Someone "I was driving
   the red mustage, I apologize."
  <GruffTeddyBear'sPicknic.mp3> Ras "Apparently we *had* gone off the road.. the
    backside of the truck was covered in mud. THE MUD WAS GOING THE WRONG
2:16 - Tire on one side was halfway down after broken seal. "Fortunately no one
   had an accident in their pants." JR "Are you sure?"
2:17 - Ras "The was probably the most interesting bit of driving I've seen in
   some time." recalls doing a 420 in a Pinto. "But never at 70 miles per hour."
   JR "Congrates for hitting the Mile-High Club?" Ras "...We were on the ground."
   JR "I'll be honest, I was worried about you pall." screaming over the phone,
     other guys in the background also screaming. "It's gonna be like Detroit
     Rock City.."
   Yappy "Which had more adrenaline, the game or that?" Ras "The game, was pretty
     much CRAP?.."
2:18 - Instant sobriety. People congradule Ras for being alive! Ras pictures
   himself becoming One with a tree using an Irish accent.
   Moonie-in-your-face Cam.
2:19 - Empty stage. Yappy "Dead. Stage." HomerDog ignore him.
   Simba off-camera "We're having a party! Wish you were here :)"
   Ezra "Hello everybody, I've been cookin.."
2:20 - Tai Peanut Chikcen and vegetable rice. "It starts out as regular white
   rice, and I make it taste good.. somehow." headspins from Eggnog.
  Yappy arghs at .wmb .asx video files that don't work. .mpg .mpeg works
2:21 - Nog noggins. Ezra moans "I gotta drive home.."
  VIDEO: <TheChristmasThatAlmostWasn't.VeryWarpedVersionOfRudolphStory>
2:22 - Kids around the world lose interesting playing with toys. Learn to play
   with themselves? o_O Santa goes to kid's houses and spies on them.
2:24 - Freaked out kid stares at Santa. Santa "Well, I guess you've found the
   one toy better than Santa can make.. I guess I have no choice but to cancel
2:25 - No.. no... please don't do this.. my Childhood!
2:26 - Guy who sings Blue Moon is a monster?
2:27 - Momma Claus' singing sucks.
2:28 - The Island of Misfit Sex To... OMFG!
2:29 - Vibrator that's afraid of the dark. "Wait a minute, you're not a misfit
   at all!" "I'm not?" Rudolph "I still don't get it.."
2:30 - Santa talks up Rudolph. (I need a harikari sword)
2:31 - The Blue Moon guy again.
   Back to the stage. HomerDog isn't moving. Ezra isn't moving. LieslFox isn't
     moving. *POINK* isn't moving. Yappy "Actually, that was no worse than
     South Park.. or Family Guy.." Ras notes they used the F-word. "Actually,
     Family Guy *has*"
   Poink "Oh.. direct.. to video.." LieslFox "That...tha... ga..."
   Ezra "I'm glad they didn't bring out HeatMiser.. what would he have done?"
     Poink "The sad thing is, I can't think of anything to top it.."
2:32 - Poink filks the Rudolph song "But do you recall.. the most perverted
   Pawpet of all.."
   Poink the Red-Eye Wearit. "Ferret with the shiny eyes.. but you've never
     saw them, 'cause they're usually between your thighs.."
   Liesl just looks at him. Poink "I'm gone!"
   VIDEO: REPEAT: PACPOINK AND PACKLIESL. Rasvar "Oh that's wrong.."
2:34 - Ipod repair.
   VIDEO: Badger Badger Badger Xmas version
2:37 - POOT #2 - Redistributed back out the air conditioning system?
   KP explains about a skit they're going to do.
2:38 - "A 21st Century Overly-Commercial Chirstmas."
  Mr Scrooge and many CEOs talk about how to advertize Christmas. Smoking Santa?
2:40 - <HeckTheHallsWithAdvertising.mp3>
  Rapid-fire Xmas song filks!
2:41 - Tiny Tim chesnuts. Not thinking about it.
  "We Wish you a Merry Christmas.. and please Buy Our BEER!"
  Skippy Scrooge and his orchestra.
2:43 - FuzzleFerret is one honest man. Likes story of Christmas?
2:45 - The Big Finish!
  Santa fursuiter fox.
2:46 - Living Room cam. SantaFox. Liesl "I want a pony!"
  Santafox mimes no. "5 ponies? 10 ponies!" Ezra "You gotta sit on his lap!"
2:47 - Ezra "Santafox, we have many people in the channel who are out there
  virtually.. can they sit on your lap and say what they want for Christmas?"
  World Peace? Santafox mimes chopping up the globe. No sweat.
2:48 - World Peas? Santafox stews some up.
  Lump of Coal? Thumbs up.
  Lot of people want ponites. Santa checks his naughty list
2:49 - Herbie arrives!
2:50 - Channel people want hugs? Crappy "Bungeeskunk wants a fanboy!"
2:51 - SantaPoink. "Ask me what you want!"
  SantaFox vs SantaPoink. Crappy "Wow.. Nofo wants to sit on Santafox's lap and
    have a.. reindeer sex slave.."
2:52 - Christmas wish to know what others want for Christmas? Santafox takes out
  Crappy blinks. "What's going on?" Liesl "We're being Molested!" Crappy "No
    Moleste!" "What's going on.. we're being molested infront of the stage :P"
  LieslFox looks up "Hi Santafox! You're a might big fox aren'tcha? I'm a little
    fox.." giggles. Santafox nods! Tickles
2:53 - Crappy "Doodles has a simple request.. he wants to be a all-seeing master
    of Time and Space and the Dimensons.. and a bike! And Green Reaper wants his
      very own Vixen Vending machine.."
  SantaFox snugs Liesl. Liesl "Oh.. wrong.. so many shades of wrong!" "Draymens
    wants a stick!"
2:54 - Crappy "..wants Santafox to drop his trousers.. but I don't think Santafox
  is -wearing- trousers?" Herbie "Anyone notice eggnog is like liquid French
2:55 - People want the Santafox suit. Poink "No."
2:56 - What the Pawpet cast wants. "Rasvar?" "He's pasted out."
  Channel wants sharks with Fricking laser-beams attached to their heads.
  Crappy ".. a working kidney, or a working pinball machine.. whatever's easier.."
2:57 - Herbie want to go someone for 2 hours without eating something! Too many
  Holiday traditions.
  Liesl and Poink hohoHO, picturing Santa's reaction to the requests. Poink "'What
    do you want next, a cure for Herpes!?'"
2:58 - "Herpies Herpies Herpies!" (I know I'm missing something here.)
  Chaka Khan. Poink "Can I break wind?"
  Ezra "That's what I want for Christmas! For Poink to never fart again!"
2:59 - JR gets people milk for Christmas. "Herpeis Herpies!" Liesl "I don't -have-
   Herpies." Poink "Would you like some?" "NOhoho!" Santafox peeks at the camera.
   KP "No, thank you, I'm full." Herbie offers the channel his last two pieces of
   Debate: What defines 'lunchmeat'?
3:00 - Herbie "So who's our fox friend? I'm outta touch." "This is Santafox,
   friend of Recheri."
  Miniature Golf Christmas Party! Crappy "And Poink, what happened to you during
    that?" "Rasvar hit me in the nuts with a golf ball." *Poink*
  Mach makes a hole-in-one! In the wrong green?
3:01 - Rasvar "I think.. I did have an interesting shot last night.." Poink "We
    just mentioned that." "Ay? Ok." "By the way folks, if you can't tell: Rasvar's
      Blitzed!" "No, nono, I was just in my bedroom."
  Divvying out the White Elephant numbers. Poink has a staring match with your
    screen. "Get me off camera.    I'm bored."
    KP "You're bored, or boring?" "Both. (zombified) Get me off camera.."
3:02 - Christmas party at KPs. Tinky Winky the purple Teletubby is a villain?
   People try to guess what name they have on their heads. Heribe gets Tinky
     Winky. "Am I human?" "No." "Am I an animal?" "No.." "Am I a Mineral?" "No..."
   "Am I male?" Debate. "Kind of male." "Am I hated?" "YES!"
   Simba got Aslan the lion. Crappy "I won!" KP was Wonder Woman?
3:03 - White Elephant begins. Yappy gets a stocking full of Maxipads! With wings!
   Tampons. Pleasure-back condoms.
   KP "I have #2.. and as *tempting* as it is to have a box of Tampoons.." takes
     a bag full of Duck Tape and a padlock. Says "links" on it. Secret Santa got
     him locks as well?
3:05 - Liesl gets music-makers that have dying batteries.
  Herbie takes the Maxipads? "I need to experiment.." Yappy gets another pick.
3:07 - Yappy gets Miracle Bubbles! Herbie opens a tanpon. "Those are the wings?
     Does it inflate at all?" Sticker allows application anywhere, like Postits!
  Pouring the Big Gulp onto the tampoon. Overflow! Bad advertising.
  Herbie "What's this? It's a drinking straw!" "NO!!"
3:09 - Tampoons applied as weapons. "So how absorbent is this?"
  Into JR's Big Gulp. "It expands?" "It plumps when you cookit!" Liesl "Is this
    REALLY what you do when you're bored??"
3:10 - Herbie "Can you reuse them?" drops it in the Big Gulp. Liesl wants a
  banana for a condom demonstration.
3:11 - Carrot in one hand.. and condoms in the other. No..nonononononnonononNOO!!
  Carrot "myfeetistoobig.." People decide on the Studded Pleasure brand.
3:12 - Intense Sensation. But of what kind?
  Carrot arghs! KP "Carrot, it's going to feel good." "Okay.. i'mtoobig!"
3:13 - Liesl yanks the condom on Carrot. Condom has spermicide. Cthuhlucarrot
  wants some of the action? "Bandit, don't lick it."
  JR "Don't throw that away! I can use that!" Condom on Cthuhlucarrot breaks?
3:14 - Herbie "Now I've got sperimicide on my finger." Poink "I think I speak for
    the whole audience, when I say Holy F*in Poop!"
  Question: "Just how wrong is this?"
3:15 - Hey Now. Hey Now. (Don't dream it's over.)
  New toy: Eyore, Tigger, and Pooh.. all sitting in each other's lap on a sled.
    In any other context it would be quite innocent.. but today? "Feffinouse"
3:16 - Second Life postcards don't work, lots of folks there.
3:17 - ART JAMS! Christmas cards.
3:18 - Top Ten Questions and Comments of N.Y.C. Health Inspectors.
  Christmas scene! JR "What is Poink hugging?" "His gift!" "What do folks think
    I'm a materialistic bastard?"
  Rasvar sends in an art jam he did from the bedroom while hammered! Stick figures
3:19 - Alien dog with 3 balls.
3:20 - Brian Reynolds does Poink and LeislFox! Poink "He makes me look loveable
    and perverted at he same time!"
  Happy Tampons! Record-speed video editing!
3:21 - Another. People say it's Rasvar's writing, but he's doesn't claim it.
3:22 - Altered Nonsanity Caption photo, animated lounging polar bears!
3:23 - PHOTO CAPTIONS - 75 captions!
- Sunbathing Polar bears?
- Lots of 3 little bears jokes
3:25 - <ElectronicFrostyTheSnowman.mp3> Yappy "What are you doing?"
- Lot of novellas as captions.
- Lots of eggnog.
- "Damn, I thought I'd loose weight by having that car run over me.."
- "I love photoshop!"
- "We're about to enter hour four, and we're STILL not wasted!"
3:29 - It's no use.. I can't fart enough to melt the snow!
- The carrot is TOO BIG.
3:30 - SHOUTOUTS. Christmas wishes.
3:31 - Yappy "And that is everything.." JR "Merry F-in Christmas to you!"
3:32 - Ronin Otter calls in. "Hello?" "Ronin!" " *humming sounds* "
  Blue Man Group and the Chronicles of Narnia! Jess is there too.
3:33 - Narnia is the "Shizdig."
3:34 - Blueberry and Jess communicate "Yay!!" "Yay!!"
3:35 - Herbie wishes them a happy Festivus. "Bye!" "Bye!!"
   XBox 360 Water Balloon commerical. Herbie "It's cool. I makes you not want to
     get an XBox and go outside!"
3:36 - Commerical from Germany. Xbox commerical pilots race their planes on the
3:37 - PacPoink PacLiesl video again. Poink "Can I nibble your pellets?" Liesl ews
3:38 - Elvis Ezra. New glasses. "You can see my eyes.. I have eyeballs.. I can
   see things..WOw! Poink's ugly!"
     Poink hmms "ICanGetPlasticSurgery! You'll still be fat :)"
3:39 - <GrandmaGotRunOverByAReindeer.mp3>
3:42 - <I'mGettinNothingForChristmas.mp3>
3:43 - Ezra and Crappy duet, while people attach tampons to Poink's face. PoinkO_O
3:44 - More. More! Dreadlocks. Liesl looks at Poink. Poink looks at Liesl? Liesl
   backs away.
  Stagehand holds a piece of paper up to the camera.. but can't read it without
    light :/
3:45 - Poink spits out tampons. "Could you help me out please?" Ouches. "OW!"
3:46 - <RudolphTheRedNosedReindeer.TheActualVersionWhew!>
3:47 - Poink's musical interlude. Leans left. Right. Left. Right. "This
         instrumental part's too long..."
3:50 - Setting up The 12 Pains of Christmas.
    "The first thing at Christmas that's such a pain to meee.. finding a
      Christmas treeee..."
3:51 - Death has hangovers?
3:52 - "I wanna Transformer, for Kristmas!"
3:53 - One puppet for each character! "Fine, you're so smart, you rig up the
3:54 - Slow motion Puppet-Pile!
3:56 - All puppets pile on Poink. Fills the whole screen. A JR hand waves from
  the side. Poink and Liesl and somewhere under there. "Somebody get him a
    snorkle!" Poink "Does it matter to anybody that I've got wood?"
  More puppets. More. Simba "Here you go, there's a serpent for you." JR "So I
    get to be Eve, and you get to be Adam, is that it?"
3:57 - Pile of dead Pawpets. Ezra "This is the cleasest it's been for a long time!
  Simba "Oh wow, another ferret." Yappypuppet reanimates o_O Pile starts moving.
  <VenturesChristmas.mp3> Rasvar piles onto the pile!
3:58 - CREDITS. Stealth credits? Shimmer mode. Can't read.
  Ezra "And folks, if you thougth this was fun, wait until we come back in two
    week for our New Year's show!"
  JR and Liesl look out from the pile. JR "Was it good for you too?" "Oh yah!"
    "Shall we go back?" duck back under the pile.
  Poink peeks up "Merry F-IN CHRISTMAS!" LieslFox pulls him back down.
3:59 - Ezra woos "When did we loose control.." "I'll send you all a freakin
4:00 - The End!